Life After Death
by DuskLightening
Summary: '...blood was pounding in my ears as Percy handed me the knife.' Prequel to '28 days 13 hours and 45 minutes.' My version of what happens to Luke after the TLO. Luke/OC from his POV. Rated T because of death, obviously, cursing and dark themes.
1. Goodbyes

**This is the only time I'll do a disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians but Atlanta Hunter is mine.  
>As I said on '28 days 13 hours and 45 minutes' (which is rated M for anyone who wants to read that) I wasn't going to upload this or even write this but due to some pursuasion from my friends and OcToPiRsQuIsHy its here so, read on.<strong>

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><p>...blood was pounding in my ears as Percy handed me the knife. Fighting off every thought and urge inside of me to lunge forward and attack him but instead undid the clasp of my armour. I let the blade balance itself in my hand. I took one last look at her lifeless body lying where he'd...I'd, thrown her. <em>'I'm sorry Atlanta, I really am...' <em>I hesitated before deciding fully on my choice. _'Well this is it...goodbye, girl...it was fun while it lasted...'_

I looked away and plunged the dagger into my arm, my only weak spot. It wasn't much but it hurt like Hades. I let a cry escape my throat as my body was overwrought with fire. He was yelling too, at my choice and at the knowledge that he was defeated. I mentally laughed before my legs gave in and the ground rushed up towards me...

There was just darkness. It swam in front of my eyes. I blinked and tried vainly to keep my eyes open. I had to; I was finally free. Free. My mind was finally free. My mind was finally free of him. If I was strong enough I would have laughed. If she was here I would have kissed her and hugged her and never let her go. But I wasn't and she couldn't.

I was a bloody mess. I knew there was no saving me now, I knew that right when I had the blade in my hand, and maybe I knew that right when I first left camp, just not the way I imagined it now.

The words that came out of mouth weren't thought through, just words of a dead man. I said stupid things about stuff that never mattered, like if Annabeth ever loved me. The answer didn't affect me; I already knew it. Just because I hadn't thought any of it through doesn't mean that I didn't mean it.

I took control of my mind one last time before talking specifically to Percy: "Ethan. Me. All the unclaimed. Don't let it...don't let it happen again..." He nodded. My voice faded into nothing. I smiled one last time before I breathed one last breath...

Annabeth was crying and Percy was trying to comfort her. I hadn't realised it before but they were going to be a couple and a sweet one at that; at least someone was going to be able to look after her now I was gone.

Grover just stood there, tears in his eyes. He'd always been a bit of a weird satyr but then he was Grover. I'm glad I actually told him what I thought of him: that he was the best satyr in the world. He was never upset and always upbeat about everything. You could always count on him.

It was just those three in the throne room, discounting Atlanta. Thalia wasn't there either. I'd vaguely over heard that she was outside, trapped under a statue. She'd taken this the hardest. I mean, it can't get worse than dying, being resurrected, being used as a pawn in a much larger plot than she thought then not being there to see a lifelong friend die. I'd make it up to her, somehow. She was with the hunters now; I wouldn't be allowed any contact even if I was still alive.

I hadn't noticed that the Gods had returned to their place of power or that Hermes had lifted my body off the floor and into his arms. I looked round trying to take all the activity in before something caused me to look back over to her. No one had really noticed that she was there after I stole the 'spotlight'. I didn't need the attention, she did. If someone didn't notice soon then she'd be joining me. I couldn't, wouldn't, let that happen. I'd controlled and taken so much out of life, I just couldn't end it as well. She deserved to live on without me. One day we'd meet again, just not today.

She coughed again, not the same as before though. This one contained blood. I'd really done it this time, I'd really hurt her this time. I had no medical knowledge but I knew that coughing up blood is not a good thing. I wanted more than anything to go over to her to hold her and tell her everything will be alright. I just couldn't though. I closed my eyes, I couldn't take it anymore.

When I opened them, Artemis was doing exactly what I had wanted to do: hold her close and let instincts take over. I felt, well, kinda jealous. She could do everything I wanted and I couldn't. I'm dead. Wow that sounded surreal. Atlanta violently coughed again, sending beads of blood down her shirt. Her eyelids parted slighted and her green eyes, once vibrant and sparkling, were now dull and full of death. She looked at me. I looked at her. Her pale lips parted slightly, as if she was trying to tell me something. I shook my head; she needed all the strength she had to pull through. She took now notice and swallowed.

Everything seemed to slow down. Everyone apart from us moved in slow motion and they made no sound. It was just me and her at that moment. It was so quiet I could her heart beat, incredibly slow, and her breathing, shallow and rasping; she needed medical attention, fast. In her weakened state I could barely hear her words over her breathing. "I love you Luke..." The whole thing went downhill quickly after that. The world sped up and she totally collapsed into her mother's arms. I lunged forward, forgetting that there was nothing I could do. A hand grasped my wrist and I turned round to face the owner: Thanatos. I looked back to her and Artemis. The latter was yelling at her twin to do something to save her. She was in safe hands. I looked back to Thanatos. I let my arm go limp. "I'm ready..."


	2. Accusations

**The next chapter might take longer to upload, just a warning.**

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><p>Even before I'd reached the underworld my wrists were bound tightly behind my back and two sets of hands grasped my upper arms whilst a third held the handle of the whip that was now threatening to beat against my back. <em>'This just keeps getting better and better. Not one but all three kindly ones, to Hades with that...oh yeah that's where I'm going, but since I'm going this way I might as well call them by their proper names.'<em>

I stumbled and heard the whip crack across the backs of my legs. I didn't register the pain. There was maniacal, old women laughing heard behind me. I gritted my teeth, to get through the 'torture'. There was a blinding white flash and I collapsed to my knees.

When it cleared, I had to blink hard to clear my vision. I swallowed and I could hear loud voices trying to be quiet. They were failing, badly.

I stumbled to a stand but a pair of hands placed themselves on my shoulders and pushed me back to the floor. If I still had a physical body, my knees would have been scraped and bloodied by now. Hades, if I still had a physical body I'd have been eaten by Cerberus by now. I cursed under my breath. "Damn Fury." It didn't help and only earned me a kick to the ribs. There was a sickening crack. I winced. Guess that I was going to the field of punishments if I could still feel pain. _'Damn.'_

"Leave the boy alone, he's been through enough already." I looked up only to have my face forced back into the tiled floor. There was no second scolding just more murmurs. I strained my hearing, like Atlanta told me all those years ago, to try and figure out what they were saying.

"Give him a break; he's been through a lot."

"You're just being soft because he's your son; I vote he gets what coming to him."

"As much as I hate to say it but I agree with Hades, he did try to resurrect Kronus and put him in power."

"I don't really care; it's one less half-blood I have to 'care for.'"

"Dionysus! A bit more respect please."

"The guy is guilty,

He should get what he deserves,

I am so cool." I winced; Apollo's haikus really were bad. Audible moans were heard.

"Two things, Apollo; one: that last line only four syllables, two: I have to perfectly honest that I agree with you. Well, the first two lines anyway."

"You do?"

"He took something from my daughter that can never be replaced and then tried to kill her. I can never forgive him for that."

I decided that this conversation needed my input. "Actually, she let me take that and I didn't have control at the time, I could never do that to her. It's kinda your fault that she chose to..." I knew as soon as the words left my mouth I would regret saying that.

Artemis was fuming and within a second she was in front of me, scowling down her nine year old nose. She looked just like Atlanta soon after we first met. I grinned which really didn't help.

"Artemis, ignore him; he'll be gone soon." I did not like the sound of that.

She scowled at me one last time before turning away. She took one step before turning round and setting a punch square into my jaw. "That's for what you did to my daughter you bastard!" _'Yep, just like Atlanta.'_

Hermes ran up behind her, grabbed her from behind before she could launch a full hunter attack on me. I could hear his voice, small, in her ear: "That's enough." Her struggles became less hearted.

He gave me that apologetic look. _'I don't need your sympathy, damn it!' _I glared at him. I didn't regret anything, even when he looked hurt.

I don't know how much time went by; minutes, hours, days? I wondered if Atlanta was alright now, actually I didn't want to think about it. I shook my head which only resulted in another cracked rib. I lost it. I couldn't wait any longer. I had to get it over with. "Will you just bloody hurry up? I can't take it anymore!" Everyone turned to look at me after my sudden outburst. "Can't you just agree for once? It's been ages." They turned back round to continue their conversation. I got kicked in the ribs again. I groaned. I was right though and they knew it. I could tell just by looking at them that they wanted to be here as much as I did; that being not at all. I just wanted to be with Atlanta; I wouldn't care where just anywhere where she was.

I thought again if she alright. I didn't want to but it was the only thought other than the ones about what was going to happen to me. Annabeth said I was a hero. I had no idea about what would happen next but I had to stay strong for her. She was the little sister I never had; Thalia too, just not in the same way. Gods, I didn't get to say good bye to her either, or Mom. Until Hermes tells her, maybe even after that, she'll be sitting in that kitchen waiting for the son that'll never come home. Last year I wouldn't have thought anything of it; but now, after spending twelve months 'sharing' my body with a titan lord, I'd changed my perspective on everything. Maybe that's why I've done what I did. I couldn't go through any of that again even if I wanted.

"Luke Aiden Castellan." My head shot up. Only three people knew my full name: May, Hermes and Atlanta (I only agreed to tell her if she told me hers. It's Atlanta Charlène Hunter. Great name right?) I got kicked in the ribs again. "Alecto! This is serious. Leave him alone." She grabbed the scruff of my ruined shirt and yanked me to my feet. Due the fact I'd been curled up in a ball for the last however long it's been I literally fell over as soon as I stood up. I shook my head and stood as sure as I could facing them. "I'll continue, Luke Aiden Castellan, you are charged with attempting to overthrow Olympus and the resurrection of the titans resulting in the death of 173 half-bloods and 66 mortals and damage costing approximately 2,592, 245 drachma. How do you plea?"

There was only one answer I could give. I looked done at my feet to avoid eye contact with any of them. "Guilty." There were a few murmurs of agreement which soon petered out.

"You are allowed the weapon of your choice and a selection of items chosen by us-"

I didn't care about what my rights were; I just wanted to know where I'd go. "Just tell me what's going to happen to me."

"As you wish, Luke Aiden Castellan; I, Zeus king of the Gods and ruler of Olympus-" He didn't finish his title; Artemis interrupted him.

"Get on with it!" I rolled my eyes. _'Still don't see eye to eye even when they agree."_

"All right, calm down. As I was saying, I hear by sentence to," He paused for effect, "Tartarus."


	3. Descending

**This is virtually writing itself!**

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><p>So that's how I came to be here; sitting next to the darkest hell hole in the western civilisation, chained by the ankle to a rock so I can't escape; I could if I wanted to but there would be no point I would only be captured again. I have to admit I' m pretty scared; scratch that, I'm terrified. No one has ever been sentenced to Tartarus, I'm the first. There could be anything down there. Obviously there were the monsters (Medusa, Minotaur, Cyclops, Telekhines, Chimera, Hellhounds, Dr Thorn, Dracaenae, Laistrygonian giants and <em>'gulp' <em>Kelli) and the titans but no one knew what else was down there, there could be anything. I shivered and wretched my gaze away from the crevasse. I couldn't help but look back at it though; there was something about that pit that you couldn't ignore. It was if all my hopes and dreams lay in that void waiting for the moment to come back and haunt me. They were calling out to me. Ghostly laughter floated out of the crater, like steam rising off a mug of coffee or something like that; not his or any of his fellows but, it sounded like, mine. Mine and Atlanta's and some others I couldn't trace. It was seriously sinister and confirmed my suspicions that my dead dreams lay down there. If I looked hard enough I could make out images in the swirling mist, all of them from my memories. I couldn't help myself; I had to smile at them: first time I met Atlanta, Thalia and Annabeth; when I won the chariot races with her; granted my quest and everything that happened on it; mine and Atlanta's first kiss on fireworks beach; basically everything good that had happened in my short life that I sacrificed to get to where I am now.

I sat staring at the crack for a great deal longer before I heard gravel crunching under feet behind me. I guess it was almost time, not much longer before I'm tossed into the pit that sat before me. I looked round to see who had caused the disturbance: Hermes. I turned back round to stare in to the inky depths, there was something comforting about them now I knew that maybe, just maybe, things weren't going to be as bad as I thought they were going to be. I heard him sit down next to me and place a comforting hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off. I froze my stare at one spot at the edge of my vision in the fissure, ignoring him. No matter how much I overlooked him, he still wouldn't leave. My will crumbled.

I set my gaze on him. "Don't you have a mail service to run?"

He looked at me before looking back to the shadowed cave. He ran his hand over his stubble chin. "I guess I do." That ended that short lived conversation. I went back to ignoring him and he pulled his phone out of his pocket and started to flick through the messages that had accumulated there; the scene totally summed up our relationship.

After a while he coughed to get my attention, it worked as well as failed. I knew he was there but it brought back something that I really didn't need to see again: the last time I saw Atlanta. I could see here in front of me; slowly dying, eyes full of pain, betrayal and demise, droplets of blood scattered across her shirt and chin. I could hear the last words she said to me hovering in front of me _I love you Luke. _Something to my left nudged my side. I snapped out of the phantasm. "Mm, what?" I tried to sound annoyed but I felt too upset to feel irritated.

He looked at me, puzzled at first but apologetic after me realised what he'd done. "Martha asks if you're scared." I looked back to the pit but there was no longer comfort in its dark depths; all I could see were the last moments I saw her. "George just wants to know if you've got any rats." I shook my head. "I thought so."

"To answer Martha's question, no." I glanced back to him and he knew I was lying. "Okay, maybe a little."

"Good."

I blinked a couple of times whilst trying to process what he'd just said. "Wait, what-"

"It's about time." He glanced at his wrist where, incidentally, there was no watch. "Ready?"

"No. Zeus said something about a weapon and selection of items. In short, where are they?"

He laughed. I glared. He shut up. "Keep your wits about you, it will help down there." He nodded towards the crevasse before handing me a sheathed sword and a battered rucksack. I unsheathed the sword from the scabbard. It was ξίφος των πρωταθλητών, my sword before I had Backbiter. The handle had been rebound and the blade polished up and sharpened but it was still the same sword. I looked along the shaft of the blade and balanced it in my hand. I held it up so the flat was facing me. The reflection that stared back at me just couldn't be me: I looked exactly the same as before. I'd thought that, well, I'd look different; after all, I was dead. I covered the blade back up in the scabbard and lent it against the rock next to me before looking inside the pack; a couple of hoodies and jackets, a pair of fingerless gloves, a pair of more substantial sneakers and a box of cereal bars.

"Okay then..."

"Wondering about the cereal bars?" I nodded. "We did try to tell Demeter that you don't need to eat but she wouldn't listen. Be thankful it's in bar form." He grinned at me and I laughed nervously. "There's also this." He handed me an A5 sixe piece of photo graphic paper. "I found it in cabin twelve shortly after you left. I thought, maybe, you'd want now since all the others you owned are on the sea floor."

I wasn't really listening but was staring at the memory captured in photographic ink. It was an old shot but I didn't care. Taken back when I was sixteen it showed the three of us (Chad, Atlanta and myself) in California. Chad had set the camera to timer so we could all be in, it still failed though. He hadn't made it back to us before the flash went off so his expression was pretty weird looking, I was trying not to laugh and Atlanta wasn't even looking. I looked back at Hermes. "Could you-"

"Tell Chad what's happened? 'Course I will." I slipped the photo in the back pocket of my jeans before pulling my shoes off. I threw them over my shoulder and heard them land on the gravel somewhere behind me.

I was tying my sneaker laces after throwing the backpack on when the Furies arrived. The time had finally come. I took a deep breath and pulled hard on my laces causing them to fray slightly. _'Okay, calm down. Yes you might being going to Tartarus but at least you're armed now. It's just like surviving on the streets: keep calm, keep moving and run. Remember that and you'll be fine.' _ I closed my eyes to compose myself before opening them and standing up. No one said anything. Alecto snapped her fingers and smirked at me. The chain that bound my ankle to the ground transformed into smoke and blew away on some non-existent breeze. "Have fun honey." She was being sarcastic so I decided to do so to. Better to use the lowest form of wit than show you're scared in the face of the enemy.

"I will thanks." I turned round and walked to the edge. A few pebbles skittered forward and over. I couldn't hear them land on the floor below. I swallowed, closed my eyes and let my toes hang over the cliff.

I was just about to jump when- "Alecto, no!" I turned round just in time to see her rushing forward towards me. I had no time to move before she tackled me causing me to lose my balance. I flew backwards and fell in to the darkness...


	4. Tartarus

**Undating will definately slow down now. Thanks to OcToPiRsQuIsHy and Tartarus for the reviews. **

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><p>'<em>Shit.' <em>Everything was dark. The ground had smashed itself into my face. My whole body was aching, right down to my bones. It hurt to move. I could feel something digging into the right side of my face. I decided to ignore it rather than endure the pain of moving it away. My hair fell into my eyes, both were full of dust. I couldn't hear anything but that was either down to the dust or the volume of my screaming on the way down. My scar was throbbing from the number of times it had been hit by falling rocks and it was agony. My left leg was bent under the right and had gone numb. One of the straps on my backpack had snapped and it lay about five metres away, its contents scattered around me. My shirt and jeans were ripped and scraped. The photo that once resided in my back pocket had vanished. I'd also lost a shoe.

I felt so tired.

There was no way I could have survived that fall but somehow I had.

I closed my eyes and picked myself of the ground with a groan. _'Damn bloody Fury.' _If I ever met that Fury again they would be in serious trouble. Then again, all the Gods probably would be. Not that I'd do what I did again. That would be the stupidest idea ever, even more than doing it in the first place. Sure it got what I wanted but at what cost?

I shook my head and pulled myself back onto my knees. I ran a hand through my blonde hair and looked at where I was. _'So this is Tartarus. Not what I expected it to be.' _Basically, it looked to me like I'd landed in central park, New York, only without the people or animals. There were no cars either; just buildings. The grass beneath me was brittle and dry not like the black stuff in Asphodel. Everything had a dead feel to it but, then again, it had to; this is the Underworld, the land of the dead, etc. It was like the whole world had been sucked off life.

I rolled back onto my feet and attempted to stand. I failed and collapsed back on the turf. _'Oh come on!'_ I had to start moving. I didn't know what was down here and the stuff I did know about I didn't know where any of them where. They could be a few blocks away for all I knew.I concentrated on my breathing and felt my eyes start to close...

"Luke." I kept my eyes closed as I was brought vaguely back to consciousness. Something had caused me to be pulled back from the world of oblivion and something cool was clasping my right hand. "Luke, can you hear me? If can, give me a sign. Please." I knew whose voice that was but...I couldn't place it to their face. It was definitely female and, maybe, upset? I wanted to give them a sign but my body refused to respond. "Please, Luke, please, just wake up." Something wet and warm landed on then ran off my hand. _'At...Atlanta?' _"Come on Luke, please wake up. I know you can hear me even if won't respond. Do it for me Luke," her warm breath brushed past my ear as she said the next two words, "wake up." A pair of affectionate lips lightly placed themselves on my cheek. "Please." Again with the breathed words. Somehow they gave me the strength to bring myself fully in to the living world.

Everything was bright and blurred. It seemed like there were two pairs of worry filled eyes staring down at me. I blinked and the two pairs came together to form a single pair set in an angled face framed by cherry red hair. A single tear track ran down her freckled cheek. Her thin and pale lips were painted in an almost permanent smile. I smiled weakly at my girlfriend. "Hey girl." She wrapped her arms round my neck and pressed herself close to me. "What's this for?" She didn't move as she replied. I didn't mind. She smelt of strawberries and chocolate.

"You've been out for three days, Luke." She pulled back and looked me dead in the eye. I swear that underneath the worry and delight they were still the death filled ones I saw the last time I saw her. "We almost lost you. I was really worried."

I thought about it for a minute. I was alive. I'd never felt so, so, I don't know what I was feeling. Nothing I thought had happened hadn't. There was just one thing I needed to clear up. "So, you're alright then?"

She sat back. "Never better." That didn't match up with the last vision of her where she was dying and it had been my fault. "Why'd do you ask?"

I attempted to shrug. "No reason. Do I need a reason to enquire about my girl's health?" She laughed again and pressed herself to me again. "I take that as a no then." She pulled back again with another laugh.

We looked at each other in silence for a few minutes. I had barely noticed that my arm wasn't hurting. It should have done; the only weak part of my body and I'd stabbed it only three days ago? Was that what she said? I didn't feel like I'd almost died either. I felt normal.

I tried to stifle a yawn. She noticed it though and laughed slightly. "It's so cute when do that." She kissed me lightly on the nose and stood back.

"I'm not meant to be cute. I'm more 'sexy' than 'cute'. And that's your opinion."

She started laughing at me. "You can sleep if you want. I'm going anywhere." My eyes started to close. "I'll be here every time you eyes open," Her voice took on a quieter tone, "or close if that's how you what to see it." There was a hint of menace to her voice. Everything went black...

There was dirt in my eyes when they opened, not some comfy cushion. I blinked. _'What…?' _I pulled myself off the floor and on to my feet. I dusted the mud off my legs before looking around. It hadn't been just a dream. I was dead, I was in Tartarus and I was never going to see her again. _'No!' _I let my anger get the better of me and struck out at the tree that stood next to me. A single dead leaf fluttered to the equally dead grass. "Damn fucking shit!" I shouted into the night (was it the night? I didn't care, I just wanted to leave). It echoed loudly amongst the abandoned world. _'Nice going Luke. That's the smartest thing you've ever done. Now everyone knows you're here. Well done.' _

They couldn't do this to me. Wasn't this enough? Wasn't it enough to isolate me from everything for eternity? Did they have to-? I didn't want to think about it. I collapsed onto the tree, using its trunk for support. I closed my eyes, she was still there. They snapped back open. _'Okay, maybe it was a one off. I have just fallen gods know how many feet to get here; it's understandable that maybe my head's a little screwed.'_ I wasn't convincing anyone but somehow it was some small consolation in this dead and dark world I'd fallen into.


	5. Threat

**Nothing much to say here but do hellhounds like cereal bars?**

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><p>It hadn't been a one off. She was there, just like she said she would, every fucking time I closed my eyes. I know that I said that I didn't care where I was as long as I was with her but this wasn't what I meant. I meant alive and with her not here seeing how things could have been different if... There were so many 'what ifs' in my life:<p>

* What if May hadn't decided to try and host the oracle? Answer: I wouldn't have run away.

* What if I hadn't run away from home? Answer: I wouldn't have gone on that quest.

* What if I hadn't failed my quest? Answer: I wouldn't have left camp.

* What if I never left camp? Answer: I wouldn't have tried to host Kronus.

* What if I had never been born? Answer: Everyone would be so much happier than they are now.

"Damn it!" I threw the stone that was in my hand, hard at the abandoned skyscraper. It flew though one of the smashed windows and skittered across the floor inside. I closed my eyes. I needed to see her again. She may not be my girlfriend in any shape or form but she was the closest thing I had to her. They were exactly alike; same looks, same skills, same love. She was her without the attitude, the thing that attracted her to me in the first place.

_Hey Luke. _Nothing was the same as it had been the first time or even the subsequent times. The second time wasn't even at camp but virtually where I was standing only in the living world. She still looked the same and spoke with the same underlying menacing tone of voice as she spoke. Her eyes still were full of death even though, on the surface, they were vibrant and sparkling. _Are you okay? It's just that you're being quieter than usual..._

_'No, I'm fine; just needed to see you.'_

_Well, as I said the first time, I'm not going anywhere. _She brought her face closer to mine and her breath tickled my face. _I'm never going to leave you either. _She was exactly like Atlanta, right down to the evil streak that ran through her. Her cool and smooth hand cupped my scarred cheek and she looked me in the eye. _Remember that Luke, I'm never going to leave you alone. _She closed her olive eyes and brought her face closer so that our lips could touch...

I opened my eyes. _'No. I won't let you do this.' _I had to remind myself that this wasn't my girlfriend but some sort of cheap replica; no matter how convincing she was she was never going to replace my girl. I closed my eyes again; big mistake. She was lying there, where I'd thrown her, eyes full of pain and surrounded by blood. _Why'd you leave me, Luke? Why'd do leave?_ My blue eyes sprang open and I shook my head. _'Don't show me that. Please don't. The other stuff, yes, but not this.' _

A growl behind me caused me to turn round. My first monster had found me. A snarling, red-eyed, black hellhound the size of lion had prowled round the corner of a near-by apartment block. I looked back to what was in front of me. My sword lay roughly fifty metres away, there was no way I could get to it in time to escape those saliva coated fangs. I looked back at the hellhound; I guessed I had about five seconds before it was on to me. I took a deep breath and started to leg it towards my only hope.

I got about half way before I was tackled from behind. We skidded about five metres before it started to claw at my back. I was definitely glad I had a few spare shirts in my pack. _'The pack!' _ I had an idea but it was pretty far-fetched. Do hellhounds like cereal bars?

I closed my eyes. She was there of course, smirking as if she wanted me to be mauled. _Don't try to fight it Luke. It's going to happen sooner or later. _I wouldn't let her be right. I focused on the pack and lunged forward. One of the beast's talons was lodged in my back as I did so and tore along my spine. "Shit!" It leapt after me and tried to land on my back again. I skidded to the right and it landed beside me. It got to its feet again and regarded me with blood red, fury filled eyes. A menacing growl escaped its throat; it turned into a whimper as it sighted the green wrapper in my hand. _'Please can this work. Please can hellhounds like cereal bars.' _ I gave it a tentative shake and it followed the movement. "Yes." I threw it and the black dog turned round and chased after it. I had until it found, ate and returned to grab my sword. My fist was just about to close around the hilt when it was back. It stood above me, its snarling jaws less than two inches above my face. I fumbled around for the blade. It looked as me as if it was expecting another bar. "Sorry mate," I grunted. I swung the blade and the razor sharp edge sliced through its furry rib-cage and struck its major internal organs. It exploded into a golden ball of glitter and dust. I stood up. "I'm all out." The dust settled on the avenue and almost immediately started to inch back together. "Better wrap this up quick then." I balled my shirt into a ball and stuffed into the pack whilst swapping it for a clean one. I sheathed the sword and attached the scabbard to my belt. I looked round and was about to leave when something caught my eye. Next to the remnants of the cereal bar was a rectangular piece of paper. I went over and picked it up. _'Wondered where this went.' _ My photo had reappeared, covered in hellhound spit. "Gross." There was a faint rumbling behind me. I pocketed to print and legged it to another part of Tartarus.

When I had put enough distance between me and the hellhound, I stopped. I leant with my back against a building to figure out where I was. It turned out I wasn't far from where the 'Empire state building' was, or should I say should be? There was a gap in the skyline where the structure should have been. _'Guess the titans don't want any reminders of the Gods then.' _

Without warning, my legs gave in and I collapsed. _'What the fuck?' _ It felt like I'd been hit by a truck doing 120mph. The gash on my back was killing me. It took everything to stay awake. I heard a growl not too far off; I had to get away. I tried to stand but only succeeded in grating my injured back against the wall. _'Shit.' _My eyes started to close unintentionally. _'No, please no...'_

**Chapter 6 **


	6. Green Eyes

**This is not as long as I'd like it to be but, oh well.**

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><p>After an un-estimated amount of time, I woke to have her green eyes staring into my own. I pushed her worried face out of my own and turned round to sit on the opposite edge of the bed that she was on. She stared at me like I was from another world. "Luke..." She placed her hand lightly on my shoulder.<p>

"Fuck off Atlanta!" I shrugged her off and refused eye contact. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" This is the last thing I need; to be stuck with some fake and replica of my girlfriend when I could be attacked any minute now. This wasn't real and no amount of trickery could convince me. I heard her come round and stand in front of me. I couldn't meet her eyes.

"Luke, look at me." I didn't move. She grabbed my shirt and pulled up so I had no choice but look her in the eyes; nothing unusual, maybe a watery sheen to them but no underlying death. "Luke don't you dare talk to me like that! I haven't even done anything!" She let go and walked over to a nearby wall and leant heavily against it.

"Wait, what?"

She scowled at me. "I don't know what you've been doing but this is the first time we've talked in three months."

"Three months?" I'd been out three months or was this just another dream? No it had to be real; this was no fake Atlanta, she was exactly the same as when I last saw her. "What's the date?"

"November 18th, exactly three months since...the incident." She looked away. That clinched it; this is real and that is Atlanta. If I had the strength, I would have gone over to hold her and apologize for everything I've put her through, past and present. _'Guess I'll have to improvise then.'_

"Atlanta..." She looked at me. The watery sheen in her eyes wasn't a trick of the light; I could definitely see it this time. "Could you come here for a sec?" I didn't even have to finish the question before she got the message. She came and sat next to me and I pulled her onto my lap. I wrapped my arms round her and attempted to pull her into me. She fought back, took my hands in hers and held them on her knees. "I am so sorry."

"Do you know what you're sorry for?" This time, she was the one who avoided eye contact.

"'Course I do. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you-"

"Don't be." I couldn't react to what she said quickly enough. "I loved every minute I spent with you, nothing could ever change that. I'm skiving off to be here."

"So you're not meant to be here then?"

"Yes...well, not really...no." She gave me that nervous- and strangely cute- smile. I laughed at her and kissed her nose as she scowled at me. She got me back though. She let go of my hands and tackled me in the chest. I fell back and she landed onto of me. "I really missed you Luke."

I placed one hand on her back and tangled the other into her hair; she wasn't getting away this time. "Missed you more." She smiled at me. I smiled at her.

'_Nothing has happened. No hellhounds, no demented replica Atlanta, just me and her and nothing has happened.' _

She tried to sit up but I held her down. "Hear someone coming?" I whispered in her ear.

"No, just checking," She whispered back but just to maintain the mood.

"Why?"

"So no one interrupts us when I do this." She kissed me; not just a peck but a proper full on snog. I kissed her back and forgot everything else...

Suddenly she pulled back, clutching her chest in pain. It was so sudden that my arms felt like they were pulled out of their sockets. Tears of pain over flowed from her water line. Her eyes the darkest shade of jade I've even seen them; she must have been terrified. I sat up, held her arms and tried to make eye contact. "Atlanta! Atlanta, what's wrong?"

She ignored me. "Please Luke, please don't wake up. I'm begging you, don't wake up." I didn't get it. I didn't get it at all. "Luke, please!" She screamed in my ears and they felt like they were going to burst. I was the one to pull back this time. I finally got it. None of this was real but this still could be Atlanta and...And I was hurting her again. None of this was real. This could be Atlanta. I was causing her pain.

She screamed.

"Atlanta, its okay, just calm down. I won't wake up, I promise I won't wake up, everything will be all right." It was a lie. Even as I said it the image was becoming blurred and faded. "I promise you everything will be all-" I didn't finish as everything went black. Her eyes were the last thing to go. Her final screams stayed with me for a lot longer than those, pain filled, green eyes.


	7. Running

**Sorry for the wait. I have way too much homework to do, that is not done yet. **

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><p>Nothing was what it seemed. Everything was a threat. Hours had passed since I passed out; hours of maim induced fantasy of what I missed most. I wanted out; that wasn't possible.<p>

Silence surrounded me. Silence so loud it was deafening and so thick it was suffocating. I wanted out; that wasn't possible. I shook my head to clear the cloudiness that was reforming. They were the hunters, I was the hunted.

I stood up, leaning heavily against the building for support. I had to get away. Nowhere was safe, well, there might be one...

My back had mostly healed but was probably scarred. _'Injuries equal hallucinations but hallucinations have healing powers.' _ I made my choice; my only choice. I ran. I ran as fast as the wind (if there had been one at all) towards perhaps the only safe place for me now...

Roughly 260 kilometres to go, I collapsed; exhausted and alone in a cruel and dead world but I couldn't stop. If I did then they'd catch me. There was only one way I could survive this and that was going to where I once called home, only in the real world. I had to keep reminding myself that, this is not my world.

I don't know how long I'd been running and there was no way to tell. Time has no place in Tartarus; neither does life nor light but this is the land of the dead millions of feet under so there was a reason. I was never going to escape. Or be alive again. Or keep the promises I made. I sighed and stood up and carried on running. The wave of darkness was descending and I had to fight it off. I had to reach that place before then. Her voice still echoed in my ear and it urged me to keep moving. _'Come on Luke. Stay strong for her; that's what she would want.' _I hauled myself to my feet and shook my hair out of my eyes. _'Come on..." _I started running again...

As I ran I didn't notice how my surroundings were changing until it was too late. I had been running along what would have been the highway on the surface world so I knew where I was going. It stopped. It didn't turn into a minor road or a dust track. It just stopped as if a brick wall had been placed across. "That's impossible..." I looked round. Behind me was the modern day world with all its modern ways, what I'd grown used to. In front of me was 15th century America, I think. Barren landscape, scraggly plants and nothing else. I knew this was going to be dangerous, deadly even; not that I could die again but it could set me back days and then there was the possibility of an attack and if that happened whilst I was out then maybe I'd never wake up. I didn't want that to happen even though I hate this I still wanted to be awake. Maybe it was because I didn't want to stay with Atlanta's replica or with the real version for eternity. Maybe I caused her blackouts as well or maybe she was unaffected, I didn't know or have any way of knowing.

I had to keep running. Things would be getting riskier now there were no buildings to hide behind. There are five ways of surviving on the run: shape, shadow, silhouette, surface, movement. First off, shape. _'Have to make myself less recognisable.' _I looked round for ideas; nothing, nothing and more nothing. No ideas there then.

'_Okay, shape off the list. Next shadow.' _Didn't need to worry about that; one, there was no light sources and two, I didn't cast a shadow.

'_That was easy. Silhouette also easy. Stay low and off the skyline.' _ I ducked down slightly.

'_Surface. No shiny things.' _I checked myself for anything vaguely shiny. I pushed my sword right down into the scabbard and pulled my shirt down to cover my belt buckle. I checked again. The scabbard glinted as I changed the angle. It had a bronze tip to it. "Damn." I swung my bag off my back. It was my only weapon but if I didn't then it could attract something unwelcome. I unzipped the bag. I really didn't want to do this. I unclipped the scabbard from my belt. Instincts told me not to. I slide the sheathed sword inside and zipped it back up. Now I was virtually unarmed in a foreign land and surrounded by monsters that were hunting my blood.

'_That's surface done unfortunately. Just movement left.' _ Basically it meant don't run in a straight line, change direction, and don't try to look human (or in a hunter's eyes, lunch).

I check round me briefly for anything that could want to assail me; nothing. I adjusted the bag straps with a single tug before running out into the barren landscape.

The landscape was starting to become extremely familiar. Not so far back the landscape changed back to that of the modern day, which was great for me. I could not be quite so concerned about hiding and I could remove my weapon from my sac and be ready for any attack. I knew where I was going too now. The only problem is that I was getting tired, really tired, and it was that sort of tired. I could stop though until I reach my safe place.

There. There was the sign that signalled my salvation. 'Delphi Strawberries.' Not much further to go now. I stumbled but kept running. The strap on my bag started to fray again but I just kept running. Nothing would stop me from getting to where I wanted to be.

It never had been home really for me, and then again nowhere was really for me. I've, in effect, been homeless most of my life. I left 'home' when I was nine with Atlanta and even then it never felt like home to my, just the house that I lived in until then. After that I was on the streets, with my sort of makeshift family. That could be never have been a home for anyone, let alone me; that's why if you're there you're called homeless. Next came where I'm heading now. That was even less of a home than this. Yeah, it had my actual family there but more than anything I really wanted to be back with the ramshackle life that I had before. Then I had to go and ruin my life which in turn ended it.

I only ended my musings when I tripped over my own feet and fell, face first, into patch of mud. I pulled myself onto my knees and wiped the mud from my eyes. I rested myself on my elbows and looked up at the last obstacle in my path. I squinted through the mud at the not so distant horizon. Maybe it was just me or was it obscured in some sort of haze. "Oh gods, please gods no!" I pulled myself out of the mud and sprinted, slightly drunkenly, towards the crest of the hill.

I rested against the tree at the rise and stared down at the valley below me. "Shit!" It echoed loudly in the deserted valley.

Camp was on fire.


	8. Smoke Filled Sky

**I am planning to write a one-shot about Atlanta and her life afterwards if anyones interested and I might turn it into a story like this if the reception is good. **

**A/N B****old and italics mean scratched out (you'll get it when you get there.)**

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><p>I couldn't believe it. My only safe place, the place I'd expected to spend the rest of eternity; on fire. To make matters worse, I could feel myself fading back to the other world.<p>

I shook my head. I couldn't let myself go just yet. I knew that there was no way to avoid it. I didn't need sleep anymore but I needed these vision-things. From what I knew, I bring them on myself; if I get injured or if I tire myself out to the brink of exhaustion. If I avoid them then I'd only bring on a longer and potentially more dangerous and 'life threatening' one later. They were the only thing that reminded me that I was still human, mostly.

I left the flames. It was obvious that they'd been burning for years; who was I to put them out. How could I anyway? From what I could see, there was no water here, Long Island Sound had completely dried out and I had seen no other forms of water on my journey from Manhattan to here so I couldn't put them out even if I wanted to.

I headed back down the hill, deliberately scuffing my shoes as I went. Where the Hades am I going to go now? I wanted to scream. What did I expect? The titans to just leave the home of their enemy's children alone in their world? How thick had I been to believe that shit?

I went back down to shelter in a place that was relatively safe from the fire and generally out of sight of any passing monsters. I paused by the sign advertising for camp's strawberries. I glanced round looking for a suitable spot before I blanked out again. My toes and fingertips were starting to go numb from putting it off for so long.

I headed off to the left and towards the part of the forest that was outside camp's borders. I guess I could find some sort protection there. I made it to the edges before the numbness engulfed my left leg. I dragged myself down an incline towards a group of scraggly bushes. I tripped over a root or something about halfway down and part rolled part fell the rest of the way. I crashed through some of the branches and landed in the midst of the bushes staring up at the smoke filled sky. That was the last thing I saw for a while, that smoke filled sky.

I sensed her before I saw her. I was pretty sure that her head was on my shoulder and her arms were around my chest and right leg, quite high up my right leg to be exact. It took awhile for me to open my eyes to look at her. Even when I did I was struggling to see her. It was dark, you see. Guessing from the lack of light I guessed it was around three in the morning. She was asleep; asleep for a long time at that too. I squinted down at her sleeping form. It was only then that I realised that there wasn't any sheets covering us. Yeah, we were dressed so we hadn't got off in recent times. I guess that was a consolation, somehow. She shifted again and loosened her grip on me. I took that as my cue to pull her from my side. I unwrapped her remaining arm from me and pressed them both into her chest. She scowled at me when I stood up and left her alone on the double bed. She stopped when she shivered. I looked at her for a little while longer before turning away. My eyes had adjusted to the lowlight by now and were scanning round at the room I was in.

The bed I had previously been lying on with her had no sheets and was just a plain mattress. I looked behind me. The bed was the only thing in the room other than a load of cardboard boxes. I went over to them, ignoring her mumblings behind me. I crouched down in front of a stack and waited to decipher the scrawled writing. It took a few moments to work out what was written on the side. It was definitely her writing, written in permanent marker pen. 'Photos and stuff.' I looked at the next one on the right. Still her writing; this time **'_Idiot's_ **Sexy's stuff'. I counted three other boxes in that room, all written on in her writing, apart from that one word: Sexy's. I guess that she'd written Idiot's just to annoy me and I'd scratched it out and replaced it with something else to annoy her.

I've always kept some sort of weaponry on me at all times, usually a dagger in my jacket pocket. So when I decided to see what the photos could tell me about my 'life', I had to find it to open the box that she'd annoyingly sealed with at least ten strips of duct tape. It was her irritating habit that she had to do something repeatedly before she was happy that she'd got it right, but then, it was really selective. It was like she'd do that for one thing but then doesn't care about anything else she does.

Anyway, I removed the blade from my jacket pocket and stared at it. The last time I held this type of weapon it was when I killed myself; it was kinda unsettling to actually be holding it with her not moving next to me, she wasn't dying this time only sleeping but it was still unnerving. I knew that I wasn't going to do anything stupid and drove it into the duct-taped cardboard. It was surprisingly loud in the silence of the night of the city. I paused, checking if I had disturbed her. I hadn't and slid the razor-sharp edge along the taped edge and flipped the flaps open. Inside there was a lot of sentimental stuff and a hell of a lot of packaging. Then there were the envelopes of photos. About five of them, each written in her writing: 'camp', 'Andromeda', 'college', and two with 'us'. Guessing correctly that those two identical envelopes would help me the most I took them back to the bed and her.

She murmured as I sat back down next to her and wrapped my arm round her. She clung on to me as I flipped through the photos. They were, as labelled, of us together. Christmas, each other's family, and birthdays were all in there as long as a lot of other stuff (looked like we still upheld the old Christmas routine, not that we did it more than once though.)

It looked like we'd just moved in together or had moved after living together. I'd always wanted to do that, normally not just leaving camp and staying, mostly living in separate cabins, on a cruise ship for years until she was pulled back to the other side.

I placed both packs of photos on to floor next to me and gave some attention to my girl. I felt a bit guilty that I'd been ignoring her. I wasn't going to see her that often anymore and this could be the last time I see her in a long time. I got down to her level and wrapped both arms round her before pulling her into me. It was then that I noticed something; it was getting light. That was a problem, but what it was doing was. When the light hit something it turned the object into a mass of swirling smoke. It was also getting closer.

I let go of her and stood up. She started murmuring complaints at me again. I crouched next to her where she lay in the bed. Soon she would be gone and this time I was going to say goodbye properly. "Bye `lanta." I lightly pressed my lips to her cool forehead and smoothed her hair out of face, just how I knew she liked when I had to leave her. "See you next time." I stood up and back away from her. I watched the expanse of boxes disintegrate into smoke followed by the rest of the room until it was just her there. It wasn't her but she was the closest I was ever going to get to her again; so I had to make the most of our meetings.

It took a while but eventually I was just back to lying under the smoke filled sky.


	9. Moving On

**Short one this time. I promise a full length chapter next time. Reminder, new one-shot went out a few days ago and so did the poll for it. **

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><p>I'm getting used to being here now; getting used to the loneliness and the silence and her. I've had more of those...things. I still don't know what to call them. They're sort of like flash-backs but they're not; I haven't lived them and I'm not going to. They're... I'm not sure really...what ifs? I seriously don't know what to call them.<p>

I've been moving south. I've heard that, on the surface, the north belonged to the giants and Gaia; so it seems natural for me to avoid them, I don't want to make any more powerful enemies. I'm also going to avoid the west. Half-bloods have always been discouraged from going there probably because Mount Tam's there and so were the titans. Last time I was there I suspected there was something else that we were being kept from. I'd kept sensing these presence's like that of a demi-god but I was kept told that it was nothing. A secret other camp for half-bloods? Yeah right, that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time.

My eyes followed the movement of the stone in my hand. There was something comforting about the movement, I'm not sure why, maybe something from when I was a kid? I don't know. I lent my head back against the wall and through the stone out in front of me. It hit the cracked tarmac and skidded before coming to a stop. I sighed as if letting out the stress of the last few days? Weeks? Months, even? I'm not sure how long I've been here but I know how long I'll be staying: eternity.

I still miss her. Hell, I miss my life. I'll never stop missing them. I never got to say goodbye to most of the people I knew.

I've occasionally thought about those who died fighting for me and against me. I felt guilty whenever I thought about it, that's why I didn't think about it often but I was now. Whenever I thought about those that died because of me, I could only do it for a short length of time. I could never keep it up for long; it was painful and it made me feel guilty.

I vaguely remembered Ethan trying to attack me and then subsequently getting mortally wounded. I think that was what sent Atlanta over the edge. If there is one guy who deserves Elysium then it would be Ethan. Yeah he made some crap decisions but we all did. He was a real hero in the end, not everyone on our side can say that.

I really miss my life. It was never really the perfect life but it was mine and, well, we all have to put with life you have been given. Life's just the boring bit between being born and dying. I was told, when I was a kid, that you always had to look on the bright side and, even if it wasn't obvious, it was always there. I was struggling to do that here though. I mean, I'm in the only person in the whole of Tartarus, almost constantly being attacked by monsters and I keep having black-out-y things. And I'm back to trying to guess what to call them: black outs? Flash backs? What ifs? I have no idea.

I could feel myself fading again. It wasn't like the other times; this one was stronger, almost as if it was pulling me back into the real world. I kinda hoped it would. I wanted out; right now. I needed to get out now. I wanted, no I needed, her, right now. I needed out and I needed her. I closed my eyes and let myself fade out of this world and into another...


	10. Ghost

**Full length chapter this time and something different.**

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><p>I didn't know if this was real or not but it certainly looked real, the people here acted like this was real and that I didn't exist. It was kinda cool. I could listen into any conversation if I wanted, but only if I wanted.<p>

I was standing in some sort of waiting room with at least five single doors leading in and out and one set of double doors. There was a reception desk and a pair of receptionists who couldn't care less about anything but their nails. People were coming in and out all the time, out of all the doors but one.

I couldn't be in America, more likely Canada. She was Canadian and all the writing around me had a French translation underneath. Somewhere in Canada, probably in the west. Thick carpet, beige walls, cheap and out of date magazines, definitely a surgery of some sort; but why would I be here?

That's when I saw her. She was curled up on a chair in the corner; trying to hide from some sort of invisible being, another invisible being other than me or was it me? She looked different from when I last saw her. Obviously she wasn't dying now, or was she? No, this wasn't a GP's so it couldn't be anything related to her health, physical health to be precise. Her cheeks was hollow, her hair was undone and fell around her face. Her skin was pale, paler than usual, and her eyes were dark. She looked ill, but all the signs said she wasn't.

I stood in the middle of the room, watching her. I was pretty sure that this was the real world because no one had noticed me; she wasn't looking the same as she did in the 'dreams' and I had never seen her like this. I attempted to walk to the side as someone headed for me. I moved too slowly and they walked right through me. Yep, I am a ghost, ooh that sounded surreal. I wonder if I can walk through walls?

I went over to Atlanta and crouched down next to her. I didn't know what to do. She was there, alive; and I was here, dead. I wanted more than ever to take her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be alright. I placed my hand on her knee and stroked her leg. I whispered her pet name (`lanta) to her as I did it. She shifted sharply and I pulled back. I stared at my hand. Now that I was a ghost, what could I do to her? She rubbed her knee and was breathing heavily. I was struggling to hear her voice over her breathing. She hugged her arms in a protective manner.

"Okay Lannie, calm down. You're under a lot of stress, just relax. This is nothing to worry about. It's just Dad being paranoid. He's gone and he's not coming back. You can't be hearing him talk to you. He's-" She choked on her words. I remained where I was, just looking at her. I tried to touch her again. I let my finger tips brush over the back of her hand. She flinched again, stared at her hand and turned it over so my fingers rested on her palm. She laughed slightly and tucked her hair behind her ear. She smiled and I couldn't help but smile back at her. Her gaze was questioning but her voice was sure. "Luke..." I was going to say something back to her when a receptionist decided to have a go at her for having her feet on the seat. Atlanta scowled at her but she twisted round and put her feet on the floor. She looked even more uncomfortable now.

I sat crossed legged next to her and wrapped one arm around her legs. She shivered but didn't flinch this time. She was starting to get used to me. She waved her arm around, as if she was trying to find me. I took her hand and held it. She smiled vaguely before pulling back. She curled in on herself, ignoring the receptionist's protests. "Get a grip Atlanta. He can't be here. He's in the underworld. He's safe. He- oh gods, I'm never going to see him again." She choked on her words again. "Luke, I miss you so much."

I stood up and kissed her cheek. Tears spilled over her water line and she hiccupped. "I miss you too `lanta, I haven't stopped since, gods knows when." She hugged her knees and started fully crying into them. I wanted so badly to wrapped my arms around her and hold her tight against me. I knew I couldn't though; I'd only make her feel worse.

"Ms. Hunter?" Atlanta looked up as someone called her name. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were wet. "Dr Van Wolfensteign will see you again now." The consultant went back through the door that had incidentally had a 'Dr Van Wolfensteign' plaque fixed to it.

Atlanta unfurled herself from the corner and placed her feet on the floor again, right on my right foot. I shifted as she stood up next to me. It was the first time that I noticed how skinny she was. I had seen her in that shirt before and I don't think that it hung off her as much as it does now. She started murmuring to herself again. "Dad's just being paranoid; there's nothing wrong with you, you just miss him that's all." She went over to the door the woman had disappeared into. She paused with her hand on the handle before pushing it open. She closed the door behind her and I was left standing in the lobby. I followed her through the wall. Guess I can walk through walls then.

"I wondered when you'd be joining us." It was a middle aged guy with glasses and greying hair who spoke. He was sorting through a pile of stapled paper sheets with Atlanta's photo at the front. She went over to the other guy in the room and let him put his arm around her shoulders.

"Okay Lannie?" She nodded slightly and stared at the floor.

"Atalanta is it?"

"Atlanta actually."

"Right." The guy that I guess is Dr Van Wolfensteign put the papers down and looked at her over the top of his glasses. "I'm afraid it's bad news." What in Hades was going on here? "I've just been talking it over with your father here and-"

"And what? I'm upset that he's dead and there is nothing left for me. I can tell you that and I don't have some flashy diploma in psychology."

"Lannie, he's doing his best."

Dr Van Wolfy coughed. "Quite. Thank you Mr. Hunter. As I was saying, I'm sorry to say that, according to the test results, you, Ms. Hunter, have clinical depression and anorexia."

"What? There's nothing wrong with me. I'm perfectly fine!"

"It's natural to for you to react like this-"

"This has to be a joke, some sort of sick joke. There's nothing wrong with me!"

I had to agree with her. She looked fine; she was acting like she always did. How long had she been like this? I couldn't- Gods, no. It's my fault. It's my fault again. Even now I'm dead I'm still ruining her life. That's just not fair!

Her dad was trying to calm her down as she struggled to come to terms with it. I felt myself being pulled back down; down to the only world I'll ever know now.


	11. Visitor

**Those that noticed that I uploaded the last chapter twice, I can explain. FanFiction was going dodgy on me and my story stats and e-mail link were down so I thought that people couldn't access the new chapter so I re-uploaded it. That maybe why my poll wasn't working either.**

**Excuses out of the way, now the actual chapter.**

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><p>I was pulled back to Tartarus with a gasp. I was still standing with the stone I'd thrown in front of me. Nothing had changed. I was still standing in a scrap metal yard surrounded by junk with my back against the main office wall. The crane stood abandoned to my right, the chain creaking in some manufactured wind.<p>

That was definitely different. That time I was the illusion and she that, was real. The way that everybody ignored me and that I could walk through walls told me that. The way she reacted to my touch told me that. I couldn't be doing that to her; even in death I was still ruining her life. That really wasn't fair on her.

Depression and anorexia, that's what Dr Van Wolfy (Wolfensteign- whatever!) had said. Gods, I couldn't be doing that to her, it wasn't fair on her. I seriously wanted to make it up to her, properly. Before, I'd taken her for granted and basically used her whenever I needed her. I could have done something to help her; if only I'd known.

"It's not your fault, well, not this time at least." It was the first other voice that I'd heard down here other than those in the dreamy-things. I turned round and glared at him.

"Hermes." Always interfering when he isn't needed then not being there when you need him, when I needed him. Those are the people you just love to hate.

"You'll get those occasionally. They're not meant to hurt, just thought you'd like to see the real her once in a while."

"Yeah, whatever." I folded my arms across my chest. "What did you mean by it's not my fault this time?"  
>He shrugged and dug his hands deep in his pockets. "Atlanta's been suffering with depression on and off for years, your death just made it permanent." That makes me feel so much better. "It's only just been diagnosed though, too busy following you I guess." My fault again, is it? "Think it was first spotted when she was about sixteen, I think-"<p>

"When I first started dating her, yeah that makes me feel so much better, not."

"I was going to say when the pavor nocturnus was first diagnosed, but if that's how you want to see it then-"

"Basically you're just telling me it is my fault but not in the way I think it is. Thanks, thanks a lot. I can tell you one thing, whenever it was identified, I. Don't. Fucking. Care. I've ruined her life and I can't make it up to her." I was about to walk off, not knowing where I was going; anywhere away from him would have been great. He grabbed my arm and I struggled not to fall backwards.

"You are being such a child." I pulled my arm back and glared at him.

"Maybe I'm just making up for lost time since you ruined my childhood by not being there when I needed you." He tried to stop me but I was only just getting started. "I never forgave you or the rest of the gods. I did this not because I was sorry, I just didn't want to be like you; I didn't want to abandon my family. For them, I. Actually. Care!" I spat the word in his face and prepared to run off. Who cares if I was acting like a child? He couldn't stop me.

"Luke, you know it's not like that!"

"Yeah and what is it like it then? You go off, have one night stands with mortals, ruin their lives and ours and just go back to Olympus like nothings ever happened? You ignore us, most of the time you don't acknowledge our existence!" Who cares if I was attracting everything within a five mile radius? I've been waiting years to have a go at him like this for years.

"Luke-"

"Do you know how long I had to watch that bloody cabin of yours getting full of unclaimed campers because your lot couldn't be bothered to get off your lazy fat asses to claim them? How long it took for them to be claimed? Most of the time it was never and those that did spent years waiting! I was fourteen, Ethan sixteen, Annabeth nine, Thalia twelve, Connor thirteen, Travis fourteen, Chris fifteen, Atlanta fourte-"

"All right! I get it! We're bad parents! So what it's the first time in three thousand years that anyone has ever complained!" I didn't know what to say. I might have just over stepped the mark...oops. "Yes, we never claimed our children; we had our reasons! We never told you who you were because if we had then the world would probably have been destroyed twice over by now!"

Neither of us said anything. His last words echoed in the abandoned scrap yard. There was the occasional creak of something moving and the rare cry of some sort of monster. Maybe I should move on again before anything actually found me again. I swear those cries were getting closer. "Okay, I'm sorry. We just can't get involved and you know that. We just can't okay? We. Just. Can't. Rules can't be broken."

"Rules can be bent though. There can be exceptions."

"Luke you know that if I could have then I would but I just couldn't have. I never meant for things to end like this." I picked my bag up and turned my back on him. I didn't want to talk to him anymore; I didn't even want to talk to him in the first place. "Luke! Luke don't do this to yourself!"

I stopped walking and looked over my shoulder. "If you really given a damn about me or my life then you wouldn't be here." I left him standing there, not knowing where I was going as my eyesight started to blur and my mind became cloudy.

"Going again are we?" There was no longer warmth in his voice.

"Yes and what does that matter to you?" Mine had equal frostiness. I just needed to get away now.

"This is your punishment Luke. I persuaded the council to give that to you and for me to be here and this is how you repay me? This is exactly to reason that you're not claimed until you're ready."

"You know what? I don't care."

"Demi-gods are powerful and dangerous. You have powers and emotions, a volatile mix. Those that know how to use them are harmful to themselves and those around them. Those that don't dance with death."

"And the point is?"

"Be careful what you wish for." He flashed out and I blanked out.


	12. Tears

**Everything's working now :D Should be learning my german passage right now for the test tomorrow...oops.**

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><p>"`Lanta!" Her red hair was glistening from the sunlight coming through the large window. It cascaded down from the top of her head to the base of her neck. Her milky skin seemed to sparkle under the influence of the light. She was wearing one of my shirts and a pair of leggings as she stared out the window.<p>

She turned round as I shouted her name at her. She stumbled backwards as I threw myself at her and wrapped my arms around her chest. I needed to make it up to her.

I was back in the apartment again. Things had been tied up and put away now; there were no longer the boxes that had been scattered across the place. It was also daylight so I could really see what it looked like. Wasn't half bad actually. "Luke..." She was okay. No depression, no anorexia, no problems. I'm not going to let that happen either. "Luke, let go..." I held her tight to me, as if I was apologizing for everything I did to her that hurt her. I kissed her cheek and really tried to make it up to her. "Luke you're going to squash the kids-" I felt- hang on. Did she say kids?

I let her go and held her by the shoulders in front of me. I could see what she meant now. Well, hadn't we been getting frisky lately.

She was pregnant; I'd got her pregnant, I'm going to be- gods-I'm going to do this right, not like my Dad or hers. I was going to be there for her and the kids whenever I was with them. I'm going to do what's right for them.

I tried to laugh the awkwardness off. "Well, I, erm kinda," Ideas, ideas, ideas, "forgot?" I attempted to smile at her in that kind of 'what the Hades am I doing' way. She laughed at me and clung onto my arm. I stroked her cheek and remembered my promise to her that I made years back: I'll be by her side forever, even if we don't make it, I'll be behind her if she falls (metaphorical obviously).

"Six months Luke and you still forget. I know your memory is bad but I didn't think it was this bad." She pulled away from me and tucked some hair behind her multi-pierced ear. I smiled at her, the awkwardness gone. I couldn't believe I missed it. Even though my shirt was big on her you could still see it. How could I have missed that?

"Shouldn't you be sitting down or something?" I have no idea what she should be doing now- gods, she's pregnant. I know this isn't her but I could have had all of this, I mean this. I don't know how to put it: pregnant girlfriend (maybe even wife) nice apartment and a future, not the one I'd thought I'd had but it's still a future.

"Just because I'm twenty-four weeks pregnant doesn't mean that I'm incapable of standing up."

"Sit."

"No."

"Sit." I growled at her and used that tone of voice that I used when I was in charge of the titans.

She pulled back, looking self-consciously at the floor. She turned round and I realised what I had done. I was controlling her again, treating her like an object again. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into me. I kissed her lips briefly and held her loosely to me. "Sorry `lanta, it's still sort of sinking in." She smiled weakly at me. "Anything you want-"

"Chocolate." No hanging round then. "Or toffee."

I kissed her forehead and let her go. I looked at her again. I still couldn't believe it. Never seen her as the maternal type, maybe it was an accident? "Okay girl. Chocolate or toffee-"

"Chocolate, definitely chocolate."

"Make up your mind." I let her go and then realised I had no idea where I'd find it. I was about to ask her when I spotted a purple packet under the couch. I picked it up; there was about half of it left in that packet and there was an empty one under there as well. "Someone's having cravings."

She grabbed the packet from my hand in defiance. "No I'm not." She dug her nails into the packet and started to rip the wrapping off. I wrapped my arms round her as she stood with her back to me. I attempted to take it back off her. She spun round and I pushed her back against the wall. I could feel her bump pressing against me as I pinned her there. "Give it back."

I grinned at her. "No."

"Give it!" She pushed my shoulders and I stumbled backwards. The chocolate fell from my hand to the ground. She placed her hands either side of my face and kissed me, hard. I let her, giving in to her uncontrolled hormones. What the Hades did she want? Did she know what she wanted? She pulled back and opened her eyes slowly. She breathed her words. "Damn cravings."

I wrapped my arms around her back. "You're telling me." I let her go and watched her walk away from me. She started to pick up the chocolate when I caught her arms and pulled her to her feet. She looked at me annoyed until I handed it to her. She held it to her chest and blushed slightly. "Thanks." She walked away from me and I looked out the window. Still in the city just not in the centre; road works, people, car horns, police car; nothing unusual.

I went back to Atlanta who was now lying on her back on the couch. She sat up when she saw me approach and let me sit down before placing her head back in my lap. I looked in to her sparkling green eyes that were framed with red tinged lashes. I was starting to get lost in them. She took my hand and placed it on her exposed stomach now she'd unbuttoned the lower half of her shirt. Her skin, once soft, now strangely hard. I ran my hand over her bump, our- "Kids?"

"Twins, surely you'd remember that."

"Right." I looked down at them, my unborn kids. Two people that could and would never exist because of what I did.

It was strange looking at her like this. Yeah, I've seen her naked before but not when she's- seriously this is not sinking in.

She played with my hands and face as we talked. They kicked inside of her and I couldn't help but smile. We talked about names and due dates and all sorts of baby stuff. This was all alien to me, I'd never even thought about her and me like this. Me and her together but not with a kid or even two.

I found out some stuff about the two of us since the war like how she was Lannie now, not `lanta and how, gods know how, I'd met her Dad. Apparently, he likes me. I couldn't really see that; I'd never got on with parental figures.

I could feel myself fading as the tow of them started kicking again and the sun started to fall. I smiled at her and she clung on to my fingers. I told her I loved her and let myself fall back to the other side. Even when the image had gone I could still feel the bump under my hand.

In the darkness, I stumbled to a stand and leant back against a wall. I slid back down and hugged my knees. It was the first time the tears fell; somehow I knew it wouldn't be the last.


	13. Echoes

**Might be a wait for the next chapter. Working on some other stuff.**

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><p>There was one thing I needed right now. I won't go it to it; it hurts too much. I just need it so bad. With it I could have her, just like how I had in those things; our lives together, once more only properly; the way that most people dream about, but not me. I want my life back; if I ever did get it back then I'd treat it properly and her. Gods I miss her: red hair, green eyes, pale skin, freckles, sweet and fiery attitude; everything about her really.<p>

I stared at my shoes, I didn't care what would find me; at least I'd see her again. Actually scratch that, I never want to see them again, no that's not what I mean. I miss you Atlanta! Please forgive me!

My throat started to ache again as I held back the tears again. I don't think I've ever cried before not like this. I remember vaguely feeling like this when her mom dragged her back to Camp when I was out of it for a week but never like this. I missed her then and I seriously miss her now. If I thought that was bad it wasn't half as bad as now. I just wanted her back; to be with her, to hold her again.

I'm going insane. I can hear her screaming; not the 'oh gods I'm about to be eaten by a monster' type though, more like the times she wakes up screaming at insane hours of the night. That used to drive me crazy, she used to wake me up when she started kicking me then screamed in my ear. It wasn't her fault, but I just didn't understand that. She'd always take the worst of my anger, if there was one thing I could change for her it would be that.

If I squinted then I could see her. It was blurry and dark but she was there, by my side. I wanted to wrap my arm round her shoulders but something told me not to. There was panic in her eyes. Her hands gripped the sheets in her clenched fists. There was a little sweat running along her skin. She was breathing heavily and her chest was heaving. I couldn't help but watch it as it rose and fell in the same dramatic rhythm. She was murmuring to herself as she tried to regain control. If I got any closer to her then she'd probably lose control again. She let go off the sheets and hugged her knees. It was really hard not to hold her.

It was weird. I was still in Tartarus and I hadn't moved but I was by her side in the living world.

She swallowed hard and looked up. She stood up and found a piece of paper. She wrote something on it and threw it at me, well at the pillow really but it was at me. Something was telling me to read it; technically it was my right, somehow, not really, not at all. Still I was curious.

I paused with my hand over the paper. Could I even pick this up? I couldn't do anything the last time I properly saw her but this is sort of some echo. Do I have any control in this? She was starting to grab her jacket and leave the room. I didn't know how much longer I would have here. I tried it. I was an invisible spirit that had an impact on the living world. That would be so epic if I was so depressed (who was I to talk about depression when she was the one with the diagnosis?)

'Sorry. Don't bother stopping me; by the time you read this I'll be gone already.' She's not going to- no! `Lanta you can't do that! Don't do that to yourself, please, `lanta please, I couldn't take the guilt of it.

She jumped out the window and the blurred image just vanished. I jumped up and, just for the Hades of it, tried to stop her. She was never there so I don't know why I did it.

I started running again; too many bad memories associated with this place. If I was lucky then maybe she'd find me. If I wasn't then-gods knows what will happen next.

I walked past the concrete block-building and scrambled over some random piles of scrap. There were definite growls coming from the other side. I could get out of here quick or I could go at this pace; I could escape them or get clobbered. I am starting to not care anymore; I just wish things could have turned differently for me.

Three hellhounds and a dracaenae later I was in a different part of Tartarus but still had no one idea where I was in relation to the living world. I dabbed at the new cuts and scratches that had joined the existing ones with one of the shirts. I was just sitting there, shirtless, trying to clean the lacerations that I'd given and thinking. I've thought a lot about stuff. What I mean by stuff is basically everything. I sighed and looked up at starless 'sky'. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift. It wasn't going anywhere but I just let it think about anything, in truth nothing.

"Lannie!" What the- "Lannie, don't do it!" Oh gods that thing's back. That's what `Lanta hated me calling her-

"D-Dad?" Oh crap, her Dad. He's going to stop her; he's going to stop her-

"Lannie come away from the edge, please." There was a pause. "That's it Lannie. Now come with me." How patronising is this guy? The image was starting to reappear, though blurry, it was returning. She wasn't moving. "Come on Lannie, you're just being silly-" She snapped.

"I'm being silly? You think it's silly for me to consider this because the only guy I've ever really loved just died and you think I'm being silly!" Her voice echoed. There was silence.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, just please; come back inside. You'll catch your death from the cold-"

She laughed. "That's kinda the idea." There was absolute silence. She looked down then back at him. Come on `Lanta, please. "Okay." She took one step back. "I won't jump." She turned round and walked over to him, her bare feet red from cold. No. She hugged him and started crying into his shoulder. "I really miss him Dad." I miss you too `Lanta. I stood up and looked at them. That's what I should be doing, that's what I used to do.

I didn't bother listening to him anymore. I just stood there staring at her. I'd lost her again; I was so close to having her back when-

They'd started to walk away when she turned round. Her eyes met mine and I swear there were tears in them. There were in mine.

I was so close to having her back, so close to having her with me, so close to having her jump off that cliff, so close to her suicide.

I had no influence, this is only an echo. Echoes never last long.


	14. Human

**Listened to Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls whilst writing this, it fits so perfectly.  
>I am apologize for the <strong>**philosophical thoughts, I'm having withdrawal symptoms now the topic is over. Little thought for you all at the end.  
><strong>**Reminder: the poll is still up on my profile. Won't take long. :D**

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><p>I was so close then, so close to having her back with me. I'd do anything to have her back with me. I can't take this much longer. I was so sure the pain would finally go but I'm not so sure now. Every time I'm attacked or tired she's back. Even when I'm fine she'd back, but it isn't her. It never will be, no matter how long I wait it's never ever going to be her. I'm never going to see her face to face ever again. I can see her but she can't see me. I'm the ghost that's going to haunt her for the rest of her life; the ghost who she's never going to know exists. Something's telling me I might be stalking her. What? I miss her.<p>

I know it's bad and sinful (who cares about that? I've done the biggest sin of them all: tried to destroy the world, I err mean Olympus) but I kinda wanted her to jump. In my heart I was urging her to jump, to kill herself; in my head I was shouting at her not to. She has the whole of her life in front of her, I don't. I have the rest of eternity alone down here. I should have asked what would happen to her when I had the chance. Then I'd know if she would join me, on my side. Hades, she was on my side since, well, forever.

I punched the wall and swore, repeatedly. I kept going until blood poured from the wound. I stood up and sighed. This wasn't going to help. Nothing would. I didn't see the point in anything. There was no point in nothing anymore. I guessed she felt exactly like I did.

Luke, stop thinking about her, it's not going to help you get over her. Do I want to get over her? I can't make up my damn mind!

I stuffed all of my things into my rucksack. I didn't bother putting my shirt back on, didn't see no point in it now. No one could tell me other ways and it saved any clean ones for a later date, if I ever needed it (not that it would be any time soon). Who cares if something attacks me? It's going to happen sooner or later, might as well be now, if there is something coming for me. Anyway, I was proud of my abs. Atlanta liked them, especially when-

Got. To. Stop. Thinking. About. Her. She's gone Luke. Get over it.

I flicked my hair out of my eyes. It hasn't grown since I got here but I needed it cut before I got here. Unless there was something open here or if I got very skilled with a blade then I was stuck with it. Atlanta liked it long, she ran her hand through it when we-

Luke, if you don't stop now then something awkward will happen. Forget about her. Give her time and she'll forget about you.

But I can't her. Fifteen years out of twenty-three I'd known her and I crushed on her for most of it. At this rate I'm never going to get over her. I hope, if I ever go back, which is becoming increasingly unlikely, that she would still be with me: to love me, to hold me, to treat me right and I to her (what? I'm only human).

Luke, stop it. There are other things to think about other than her. You are so close to the awkward position if you don't stop thinking about her.

I hate my rational side. It's no fun, not like `lanta when-

Luke!

Damn you.

I've always been torn in to, metaphorically. When I was a kid, before I met `lanta, I used to want to run away but something always held me back, I never knew what is was but sometimes I'd already packed my bags and was ready to leave when that something would pull me back. I was a whimp; I had no courage back then. That's all changed now. If I was still the same I wouldn't be here, I'd still be alive. If only it was like that but if I was the same then I wouldn't have done have the things I've done. If only I had the balance.

Another torn was when I left camp, when I stole the lightning bolt. It was the same problem, I could never bring myself to do it until he- gods it's all his fault. None of this would have happened if he'd just have left me alone. There is no use blaming him, it won't make any difference. I'll still be stuck here and we'll still be misunderstood, we're strong in spirit and in mind. We are what it means to be human: put forward our ideas and make a stand for what we believe in.

`Lanta asked me once what I thought it meant to be human. I sort of came in one day and she lying on the bed with a book and pen. She looked at me and just asked; no prompt, no random subject change just asked me: what do I think it means to be human. I remember she rolled on to her back as she waited for an answer. I was in a bad mood and I snapped at her. She bit her lip and avoided my eye. Another time when I didn't treat her right, she never complained so I never knew. It's not her fault though; it's not her fault that I'm not there for her anymore.

Question: what the Hades is wrong with me? I've gone all philosophical, it's not good. This is hurting my head, I'm pretty sure it's not meant to throb just with thinking.

Thinking about her made me imagine that she was here. I could feel her pressed against her against my back with her arms around my chest. I could feel her cool cheek up against my shoulder blade and her soft rhythmic breathing. I move my hand without thinking to hold her arm. It rested exactly where her arm would have been.

I blinked and shook my head. This was definitely fake; my imagination playing tricks on me. I couldn't see her and I was still here, it had to be fake. I rubbed my face trying to clear my head. I couldn't get the thought out of my head as my mind drifted. Everything was starting to go dark and I still couldn't get rid of it. Even when I slumped against the wall I couldn't get rid of it. I let myself go and I still couldn't get rid of it: What does it really mean to be human?


	15. Fatherly Advice

**I'm ashamed of you all. One voter, just one. It does work. Come on people. The more voters I get the faster I update. *hint hint*  
>Anyway, the two new characters are MINE okay? MINE! (pocessive mood day) MINE!<strong>

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><p>"Dad," what the- "Dad, wake up," How long has it been this time? A few years? "Dad, I can't sleep." I groaned and opened my eyes. My now skinny girl was still asleep next to me and my arm was draped across her back. I pulled it back and pushed my hair out of my eyes. 01:06am, that's what the clock said. It also said it was 16th December 2013; four years since my death and about three years since the last one. Three year old twins, this is going to be fun and one of them had just 'woken' me up.<p>

Hadn't been in this room last time; nice, like the rest of the place. Whoa, that answers my question from last time. `Lanta's my- this is sinking in less than the news of twins- wife. I'm never going to get my head round this.

It was a picture that told me; a picture of that, our, day. Gods, she was beautiful in that picture. When I was with her I'd rarely (actually never) seen her in a dress but she was then. It looked good on her. She was clutching my arm and laughing. I don't think I've ever seen her that happy, I don't ever think I've ever seen myself that happy.

He had `lanta's hair and freckles and my eye colour; black t-shirt and shorts and a band aid on his cheek. Something was telling me that his name was Leigh, as in Leto; it might have been the fact that it was across his shirt, actually that had nothing to do with it.

"I can't sleep."

"What am I meant to do about it?" He shrugged and scuffed his feet. What the Hades am I meant to do?

"Will you tell me a story?" Well that was an answer.

"No." I want to spend time with `lanta.

"Please." Puppy dog eyes; always a sucker for them when `lanta did them.

"Go on then." His face lit up as I got up. He grabbed my hand and dragged me back to his room which, it turned out; he shared with his sister, Maia. Luckily for me she was still asleep. From what I could see, she had my hair and `Lanta's freckles and probably her eyes too. When I looked back to my son (not sinking in) he'd already got back in to his bed. I sat down next to him and stared out the window. What the Hades am I meant to be doing?

"Aren't you going to tell me a story then?" He looked at me expectantly.

"What one do you want?"

"How you and Mommy meant." We both looked over at the other side of the room. Yep, she had `lanta's eyes.

"Well, that's kinda complicated..."

"Come on Dad, tell us."

Yeah Daddy, tell us." They were really persuasive; you couldn't not do what they asked. Big eyes and gappy teeth, you just couldn't not listen to them.

"Okay. Come here then ." Mai came over to me and sat next to me. Leigh sat on my other side and I wrapped my arms round them. They were my kids after all. "You know that your Mom's Canadian right?" They nodded. "That'll save time then. She had problems at home when she was a kid, a bit older than you I think, and she left home," fatherly advice time, "don't do it, it's not a good idea. I met her about a year later, she'd twisted her ankle outside my house and, well, I somehow managed to persuade my Mom to let her stay a while. Basically I ran away with her. We were nine." Thinking about it if I'd never met Atlanta then my life could have been so much different, crap, but different.

"So when did you sweep Mommy off her feet and give her happily ever after?"

"Mai, fairy tales aren't real." Here's trouble: little girl who believes in fairies and fairytales and little boy who believes only in fact. Gods help me.

"Daddy, Leigh's being mean!"

"Leigh stop being mean to your sister." I'm not cut out for this but I didn't say that.

"Mommy!" Mai ran over to her and `lanta picked her up.

"Hey." She looked so tired. She walked over to me and sat down beside me. I kissed her cheek and put my arm over her shoulders. She looked like she was going to fall asleep any minute.

"I was just telling the kids how we met." She leaned against me and closed her eyes. She murmured to acknowledge my comment.

"Oh."

"Mom?" She woke up and looked at Leigh.

"Yeah."

"I read somewhere," he doesn't have dyslexia then, "that homeless people find it really hard to get off the streets." `Lanta put Mai, who'd gone back to sleep and was sucking her thumb, down on her bed.

"That's right."

"How did you both get off the streets then?"

"Some charity helped us, stayed with them until we were nineteen then left. I went back a couple of years later when Daddy was tied up with work." Ooh, good cover. "Now, I see a little kid who should be asleep right now, hmm?"

"Yes Mom." She slid off the bed and I stood up as he got back in. She kissed his forehead and smoothed his hair out of his eyes.

"'Night Leigh."

"`Night Mom, `night Dad."

"`Night Leigh." I took `lanta's hand and walked with her out the room.

When we were back in the other room, she stopped walking and let go of my hand. She stared out the window down on to the city below. Our perfect life. Nothing holding us back, not anymore.

I stood next to her and she leaned against my bare chest. I wrapped my arms round her and she held on to them. Her chest rose and fell with her breathing. Calm and peaceful was the moment, not the chaos and darkness I'm now growing used to. I want to stay here forever. I couldn't though. I have to keep reminding myself this isn't real. My life is over, hers is ruined and theirs never existed

"When are we going to tell them?" I was curious. They deserved to know the truth. Luke, stop it, you're getting in too deep.

"Not until they're older." She continued to stare. "They wouldn't understand if we told them now." She was right, like she usually was.

I looked out the window at the night sky. That's the main thing about the world above that I miss other than living. Dark blue, almost black, sky and pin points of silver with a faint orange glow at the skyline. Tracing the constellations with my eyes I could stare up for hours. They were getting darker, fading back to the world I now call home. I'd liked this one. It wasn't just me and her; it was just life, an average day in what could have been our life. I closed my eyes and concentrated on her breathing as the world faded out.


	16. Three Things

**Important annoucement!  
><strong>**I am NOT extending 'do dreams ever really come true?'. I've tried writing parts of it and I just can't get into it. I only have something like five ideas for it. So sorry if you were waiting for that.  
>I may write something else for these two though, before he dies that is. I might add more one shots to 'do dreams ever really come true?' if I feel like it.<strong>

**Okay now that's over with on with this story :D**

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><p>I'm heading east soon. I can only go that way or south. Titans in the west, giants in the north, dried up sea in the east and land in the south. Either way I go will be difficult. I'm not really sure what's in the south but north and west are definitely out of the question. I don't particularly want to meet any old 'friends;' I don't particularly want to have an injury induced black out. It takes a lot of pain before I blank out and the build, let's say, is not great; it fucking bloody hurts.<p>

I know whose laughter it was all that time ago: Leigh's and Maia's. I don't know why they, we, were laughing; probably because they had a Dad who was actually there for them. Why can't that be true? Why can't I be there for them? I don't know whether if part of me stays there with them or if I just vanish completely out of their lives. If I just vanish completely then that isn't fair on them. I don't want them 'growing' up with an absent parent like me and `lanta. I just had my mom, when she wasn't out of it in her mad fits, `lanta had no one unless her Dad wasn't stoned or drunk. How could we ever have a proper family where we are there for kids with our experiences?

After the last black out everything was quiet; not quiet like it usually was, normally there was always something in the distance that you could hear. That time there wasn't even that. There was nothing and since I'm dead there wasn't even my own breathing. It really showed me how lonely it is down here now I'm dead.

I spent a long time just sitting there. Not doing anything, just trying to clear my head. I'd gotten in way to deep that time. That's when they hurt, when you get in too deep, when you get too attached to what's happening that you treat it as if it was real. How could I have been so stupid? I knew that would happen so why do I keep letting it happen? Why do I care?

I found this- I err don't know really what to call it. It's sort of a watch but it isn't a watch, if you get what I mean. It's like an antique watch, with the hands and leather strap but it doesn't have any hands. It has sort of four hollow-y things. There in a line and have a weird letter next to it: y, m, d, and h. Underneath it says T.S.R. Still trying to work out what they mean. I pocketed it anyway, you never know what could be useful. I have a habit for pocketing things: string, ink cartridges, cash, paper, rubber bands, paperclips, anything really that could be useful later on.

Speaking of useful things, those cereal bars I was given were actually pretty useful for preventing hell hound attacks. So far, I've avoided at least six blank outs because of them. I have three left and one of them is covered in hell hound slobber; I don't really want to keep it, let alone carry it around with me. If it can save me then I don't mind. Just a bit worried on how many I've got left.

I'd just pulled a shirt on and finished stuffing everything in my bag when it hit me. They're becoming a bit more random now. There's little pattern to them now. Not just when I'm tired or injured it can just be whenever. I need to get some distance covered before it comes.

I swung my rucksack onto my back and bent down to retie my sneaker. I pulled too hard and the lace snapped. "Oh for the love of Maia-Argh!" I didn't register what happened when it happened but I did after. I fell over backwards and landed on my ass. I hit my head on a rock and I swear I went cross-eyed on impact. I blinked hard and pulled myself up, or at least tried to. It's kinda impossible to stand up when your feet aren't on the floor anymore. "Maia," I said through gritted teeth. Thanks for telling me that the shoes have wings dad, thanks a lot, thanks for everything in fact. Thanks for ruining my life!

This where pocketing string comes in handy. When the shoes finally decided to let my feet come back into contact with the floor, I replaced the lace of my right shoe. I didn't throw it away though, it may still prove useful.

"Maia." I should get used to them now again. I did have a pair, a long time ago: somewhere around seven years ago. I remember this one time, soon after `lanta and me started dating. Third date or something, I totally surprised her by picking her up and doing this. She was screaming at me to put her down, which I didn't. I never let anyone tell me what to do then and I certainly don't now.

"_Luke, put me down!" I laughed at her._

"_Scared of heights are Atlanta? You told me you weren't scared of anything yesterday."_

"_Yes- but- no- but- Just put me down!" She started kicking me as I went higher. She screamed at me. "Luke!"_

"_Atlanta, what is it that's the problem?" She avoided my eye._

"_It's not that I don't trust you but-"_

"_But what?"_

"_I'm scared you'll drop me." I laughed at her again. She wrapped her arms around my neck tighter and closed her eyes. _

"_What, like this?" I took my arms out from under her. She lost her grip on me and screamed. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back to my chest. "Sorry Atlanta, just playing with you."_

"_Well don't! It's not funny!" She looked like she wanted to set fire to the shoes, with me still wearing them. I laughed at her and kissed her. Mid-air make out session, best yet even if I did almost drop her half way through. _

I didn't do it again for a while, not until I got her to trust me carrying her. I tried it only once more and that was just to discuss plans about stealing the lightning bolt. People used to ask me how I did it, the secret to it is to have an accomplice. Me and `lanta made a great team, wherever we were we made a great team. We could lift anything from a store (or throne room for that matter) and we could do anything if we put our minds to it (great chariot team we were, unstoppable, until the other teams worked out how we did it). If she was here with me then maybe this wouldn't be as bad; Hades, if she was here then I wouldn't care about where I was, just that I want to keep her safe. Why couldn't I think about that before I almost got her killed, repeatedly?

I murmured the word and landed back on the ground. It's useful to know that they have wings but it would have been more useful a few days ago, days? When did I start saying days? Time has no place here, a day up there could be as short as one of their hours or as long as one of their years. How was I to know?

There are only three things I know now: there is no time here, just the never ending darkness; me and `lanta made a great team, wherever we were; and I miss her more than anything, and I'll never stop.


	17. Lies

**Two updates in one day, I am on fire! I've had way too much time on my hands being snowed in and all, yes snow, in April, in Britain. I woke up and I honestly thought I'd seriously over slept. It's been a weird day.  
>AN I've changed the ending of 28 days, 13 hours and 45 minutes to fit better with this. It's nothing major but I have changed it.  
>Important notice regarding Do dreams ever really come true is in Chapter 16. <strong>

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><p>Something was vibrating in my back pocket. I groaned and rolled over. I'm on some sort of bed then. It was the watch-y thing that was vibrating. I removed it from my pocket and stared at the screen. Nothing had changed there but there was this pin and it had fallen out. I clipped it back in and fortunately it stopped vibrating. The hollows went blurred and focused within seconds. 0y, 3m 25d 18h T.S.R. It was like a...date? That's it! Years, months, days and hours, time since return. It's a thing that tells me when it each blank out takes place regarding my return.<p>

Most useful thing I've ever pocketed.

Okay, so it's three months, twenty-five days and 18 hours since I woke up in Camp's infirmary with `lanta's green eyes staring into my own. I can still remember waking up with those deep green eyes locked on mine. How could I forget?

Just after I found out that camp was permanently on fire, in the blank out where I- we- were in first in the apartment, I was guessing it was a month after the first one, two at most. I think I'm still here. I've- we've- been living here for roughly two months. So here I was but where was she?

I could hear someone moving in the room next door. I stood up and pressed myself against the wall. I could hear her words through the partition. "Stupid, selfish bastard. Don't think about anyone but himself. All he ever wants is sex, even now- gods why do I even stay here?"

She stopped talking to herself and I heard her walk out in the corridor. I pressed myself further against the wall as she came out of the room. She paused and glanced over her shoulder. She readjusted her bag and started to walk out again.

"`Lanta," she froze for a few seconds before turning to face me. She hid her bag behind her and bit her lip.

"I- err- Luke, I didn't know you were awake...I-" I went behind, pulled her bag out of her hands and locked the door. Some-something was telling me to. I didn't want to but...I couldn't resist it.

"Planning on leaving were we?" I took a dagger out of her back pocket without her knowing.

She took a deep breath. "Yes." Her voice shook slightly as she said it. "You can stop worrying about child support; you won't need to pay it." Interesting... She took another deep breath. "I'm getting an abort-" She didn't even have to finish her words before I pressed the blade hard against her neck cutting off any other sound.

"I think you're forgetting something `lanta," I increased the pressure and she whimpered, "you're mine and you're staying that way, got it?" Tears sparkled in her eyes. "I said, got it?" The first drops of blood appeared on the blade. I sneered at her submission and increase the pressure again. The bright crimson liquid ran along the dagger and dripped on to the floor. It was strangely sadistic that I was enjoying this- what the Hades am I doing?

I removed the knife from her neck and threw it behind me. There was a two inch gash on neck near her collar bone. Blood was oozing all along the laceration. You couldn't help but look at it. It was just there, pouring blood over her pale skin and shirt.

I'd told myself time and time again that I'd changed and that, given the chance, I could look after her properly; to keep her safe and happy, like I used to. When we first met and even up to when we started dating I was able to look after her and Annabeth, right. I'd really thought that. I'm so good at persuading people with lies that I even believe the lies. She wasn't the one who lied, I was. She only did to- why did she lie? Gods, she lied so I would leave her alone.

"Luke..." Her voice was barely audible. She swallowed and repeated what she said. "Luke, are you okay...?" I looked at her. She still looked like she wanted to run but something was keeping her with me.

I gave a breathless laugh. "I should be the one asking you that..." She touched the cut lightly with her fingertips. She winced and I pulled her arm away from it.

"It's just a scratch-"

"A scratch as in Ladon scratch or just a scratch?" Just mentioning the dragon made my scar ache. Matching scratches is what we called them, my facial one and her four ribs.

She pulled her arm back and turned away. "Just forget it." She picked her bag up and chucked it on to her back.

"Are you still going then?" I felt like a kid again, totally powerless, begging my dad not to leave me with her. "`Cause I'm not going to stop you if you really want to-"

"I'm not leaving you, Luke, and it has nothing to do with this." She touched the cut and winced again. "It's not because I'm scared of you-"

"`Lanta, you shouldn't be scared of me, not anymore." I let myself gently touched her shoulder. She looked at me quickly before looking away. I guided her face back to me. "I need your help."

"W-what?" She pulled her face out of my grip.

"I have a problem; you can't deny it any longer `lanta. You know it as well. And I need to get it sorted before," I touched her stomach lightly, "they-"

"Before you've two kids to look after. I- I've known that something wasn't right for years, I just couldn't-"

"Hey girl, don't start crying on me. We're going to sort this out. Six months right? I sure we can sort it out." She wrapped her arms around my chest and I stroked her hair. "Right now we've got something else to sort out." Her cut was still bleeding and soaking blood into her shirt. She pulled back and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, I think my Dad wouldn't really approve of the extra mark, but we don't have any ambrosia or-"

"Guess we're doing this the mortal way then." She groaned, let me take her hand and lead her back into the other room. I've given her another permanent reminder of how I treated her.

She was whimpering every time I pressed the antiseptic against the cut and after I'd stitched it together she was still complaining that the painkillers didn't work.

She was only acting though. For her everything would be alright, for me it would be black. She gets the better deal yet again, even if she now has yet another scar on her small body from me. Every time I look at it, it will remind me of that promise: I won't hurt her or the kids again, emotionally, mentally or physically, ever.


	18. Bastard

**Changed the last part of this one. Not drastically but still changed.**

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><p>I punched the wall. How could I do that to her? I punched the wall. How could I treat her like that? I punched the wall. How could I have not noticed? I punched the wall. How could I hurt her like that? I punched the wall. Why did I hurt her?<p>

I pulled my arm back to punch the wall again but I decided against it. Hurting myself won't undo all the times I hurt her. No matter what I did now could undo what I did to her. Why couldn't I have seen it earlier, like when I was alive? I could have changed...To Hades with that. Even if I had known about it then I couldn't have changed. I was one of those guys who can't change even if it means getting everything they ever wanted. I was Luke Castellan and changing would have meant I would've lost everything that made me Luke. I can change now because, well, I'm dead and I have no identity left anymore. You can start over but be forever haunted by what you did, by what I did to her.

I have too many ghosts following me, way too many. Enough for an army following me. Not all of them are actual ghosts but the terminology still stands.

I'm doing this a lot lately, probably because the pain takes away the memories of what I've done but only briefly. If it was permanent then I'd have done it so many times until I had no recondition of what I've done. If only the world could do that and just pretend that Luke Castellan was never born and what I won in the war still lasted.

I sighed and hit my head against the wall. It hurt but not as much as what she felt when- how could I have not noticed?

I glanced briefly at my knuckles. Grazed and bleeding but not too much damage unfortunately. It's the first time I've actually felt I'm being punished for something. Yeah, I caused the premature deaths of, what was it? 173 half-bloods and 66 mortals? 239 altogether if my math is right. But I never really felt guilty about it. I'm guessing people call(ed) me a monster rather than a hero because of that. Atlanta would fight for me though, she always has. Or would she? Since I-

I'm glad she's not here. I'm glad she's not here so I could hurt her again.

It didn't used to be like that. I did treat her right once upon a time. Going by my death date, between fifteen and five years ago. Ten years I treated her right but failed the last few. That's what Artemis meant. Not for turning Atlanta against her, she's always been against her mom, but how I treated her. I am a bastard, literal and insult.

Be careful what you wish for. That's what Hermes told me. How come Gods always have to be cryptic when they give you advice, when you ask for it especially so? It's just really annoying. If you don't know what the Hades they're going on about then you don't know what they're trying to do and it just confuses you even more. That's when it gets fucking annoying. Maybe they know it's annoying when they do that? Maybe that's why they do it? What am I thinking? This is how I got here, by blaming the Gods for everything I just gave up on my life and let him control it. Worst mistake of my life that. Got what I wanted but at the cost of my life and those of 239 others, that's not counting the ones that were scarred, maimed and ruined, like `lanta's. Gods, how could I do that to her?

I've got to move on. Saying 'how could I have done that to her?' won't help. I've just got to accept that I was the worst boyfriend in the world and move on. It's not like I'm going to have another girlfriend anytime soon, even if I wanted anyone other than `lanta. To me she was perfect. To anyone else she had millions of faults, apparently. I never noticed them, apart from when she was being stubborn, which towards the end was virtually every day.

"_Luke, I'm not going." I looked behind me to see her standing, arms folded, at the opposite end of the room._

"_`Lanta you'll do as I say and I say you are." I was trying really hard not to lose my temper with her. _

"_It's my life and I chose what I do and I'm not going." So close to losing it._

"_And what are people going to think I can't get you to follow me?"_

"_That I have a life and have better things to do with it other than being your personal toy!" That's it! I went back over to her and grabbed her by the wrist. I attempted to drag her out the door. "I said I'm not going Luke!"_

"_And I say you are!" She dug her heels into the floor and fought against me. "Don't make me do this `lanta..."_

"_Luke you bastard! Let. Me. Go-!" That's when I hit her. Actually I punched her in the face. The force of it made her over balance and her hair span out, I let go of her wrist and she fell backwards on to the floor. She looked up at me, lightly touching her cheek. She'd split her lip as well and blood trickled over her lip and on to her chin. There were tears in her green eyes; tears of pain, confusion and fury. They'd turned a sort of jade-y colour; the colour her eyes turned when she was scared, the darker the more scared she was. They were dark. Already a purple bruise was starting to form on her cheek and under her eye, it would be Hades to cover up but at least she'll be reminded not to push me every time she saw it. You could barely hear her when she finally spoke. It was barely a whisper but in the newfound silence it was as clear as if she had yelled it. "Luke..." _

"_Two minutes `lanta. You better be ready by then or there'll be more where that came from." I turned my back on her and left her there. _

_I didn't give her two minutes, I gave her half that. She unwillingly surrendered to me the second time. I threatened to hit her again, but still tried to struggle against me. She didn't shout, complain or scream; just sat there staring at the floor, only responding when spoken to._

Yep, a right bastard. That's what I was, a right fucking bloody bastard. I deserved to be here, isolated from the world.


	19. Wherever you will go

**Longest chapter yet! By about 7 words...still the longest!  
>Now before I start, if there are some little kids out there reading this (which there shouldn't be, T rating, head it now) or some people who think this is a good idea (get help, seriously) DO NOT COPY ATLANTA IN THIS CHAPTER! SERIOUSLY THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA AT ALL! SHE IS DEPRESSED AND NEEDS HELP, DO NOT COPY HER. <strong>**No offence to anyone who already does this but get help, you'll feel better for it.  
>This is a chapter that deserves it's T rating. I'll shut up and let you read it now.<br>One more point, if anyone is interested the song is by the calling and is of the same name as the chapter.  
>Now, on with the story!<strong>

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><p>Okay my rant of how big of a bastard I am is over I can actually concentrate on some other things, like...err...erm...I'll get back to that later. I have some questions I want answering though: how come when I first came here I worried about everything but I don't anymore? Have I stopped caring what happens to me now? Has everyone stopped caring about what happens to me now? How long has it been up there? Have they forgotten me? Has she forgotten me?<p>

Here are my answers: I'm bored, yes, don't know (probably), don't know, don't know and (let's see...) how the Hades am I meant to know? I am not a mind reader. I am- **was **a normal half blood with no weirdly powers who blatantly decided to be different. Hey, it worked didn't it? Okay, maybe a bit too well...Got me killed which I am advising anyone who is thinking about following me is a **really, really **bad idea.

Hang on, was, was that a door closing? I finally looked up from my dirty and fraying laces and up and into the gloom. It was one of those vision things again. I don't mind these, apart from the fact the only parts of her life that I see are the ones where she's either getting punished for what I did to her or she's trying to kill herself. Maybe there is a reason for that...

So what's changed about her? Dark room so I can't see that much but...looks like a new style of dress: baggy sweater and skinny jeans, unusual combination. It's like she's trying to hide from the world or she's trying to hide the fact she is now (or was) anorexic. Getting clearer- whoa. She's cut her hair, like **cut **her hair, like taken a knife to it. It's only just longer than mine now, other than her fringe, that's still long enough to cover half her face. It's only been that short on one other occasion: when she'd cut it when she was about thirteen. It went from an ass length plait to a boyish cut in less than two seconds. That was also when we ran into the hunters, probably only did it to get back at her mom for the first time. I remember writing (yes, I kept a journal; journal not a diary, a journal) something like: _Atlanta cut her hair today, preferred it long. Hunters hate me. They hate me more that Thalia if that's possible. _Think I still prefer it long actually.

Speaking of knives, is that one hidden up her sweater sleeve? Nope, sorry, just a dagger...hang on, why's she got a dagger? Oh Gods not again, please can I be wrong, please, please can I be wrong.

I walked up behind her and looked over her shoulder. Standard issue celestial bronze knife, how had she managed to persuade Chiron to let her keep it now she's left Camp? Or maybe she hadn't, maybe she'd stolen it. I am- **was **a really bad influence on her, probably still am.

I stopped looking at the weapon and couldn't help but stare at her neck. At least I hadn't hurt the real Atlanta, I hadn't given her a scar as well, but it was pretty weird though. She had a really, really thin red line just beneath the surface of her skin, like the beginnings of a scar was forming but it wasn't going to. I mentally shrugged and gave her some room. She placed the dagger on the bed and went to lock the door before turning the light off. I vaguely saw her sit on the bed next to the knife and swing her legs up. I leant against the wall and watched her. What the Hades was she doing?

She removed her sweater and I frowned as she placed the blade, edge down, on her now exposed arm. The confusion turned to shock as she winced. She increased the pressure she was putting on her arm and closed her eyes as crimson liquid seeped out from under the blade. How could `lanta, my `lanta, be reduced to this?

I couldn't move; I might have had some power over her to stop her but I. Just. Couldn't. Move. I couldn't believe it; I'd never thought she'd do anything like this. I could just about imagine her attempting suicide but never actually committing it or, or, this. I felt, I felt, what do I feel? Guilty, an intruder, a, a there are no words for how bad I feel now.

It had to be quite deep. It had run done to her wrist now. She'd put the blood stained knife down next to her and was watching as the sanguine liquid made it's slow progress down her arm. She made no attempt to staunch the flow. I thought I was messed up.

She rested her chin in the palm of her right hand and held her left hand up in front of her. She watched as the blood dripped off her middle finger. She was humming absentmindedly, like this couldn't get anymore messed up. Gods, she was humming our song; I really did this to her, my fault that I did this to my angel.

I wanted so much to go over there to pull her wrist away from her and shout at her to stop it. Even if I could do that, I knew I couldn't. That's something the old Luke would have done and he's dead. Yeah, so am I but I'm not going to do. I'm going to try and treat her right even if I'll never see her again. I'm going to change, for her, for my `lanta's memory because this isn't her. It just can't be. My `lanta was happy, fun loving and sexy. She's, she's, she's just a shadow of her.

"And maybe I'll work out, a way to make it back some day, to watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days..." She sighed and wiped the blood from her arm. I guess she stopped there because the lyric made her think that she'd failed me, not that she ever had. "How can songs written eight years ago reflect what happened only six months ago?" She reached into her jeans pocket and pulled something out. She pulled the ripcord of the band aid scrunched the packaging up in her fist. She closed her eyes and sighed again. She flung the wrapping to her left and I felt a sudden urge to get closer to her.

Whilst she was busy applying to band aid to her arm, I went over and sat in front of her. She was still smoothing the band aid down over the laceration she'd inflicted upon herself. "`Lanta..." She looked up and frowned. Her mouth formed my name but she shrugged it off before she made a sound. She picked the dagger up and wiped the blade on a spare piece of tissue. She started humming again. I almost found myself humming along with her. I stopped myself though; it wouldn't make her feel any better.

She collapsed backwards onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. I lay down beside and watched her breathing. It was weird but I actually miss being able to do that. I let my fingers gently brush over the band aid and the other seven identical cuts and pink scars she had. This wasn't the first time then.

She pushed herself onto her elbows as someone knocked on her door. "What do you want Dad?" She didn't sound too pleased.

"Nurse Mason will be here in about five minutes, Lannie." She groaned as footsteps indicated that he was leaving. I looked back to her, she really was sick. Sick in body and sick in mind. And I'd done this to her.

She stood up and pulled her sweater back on. She stashed the knife under the bed and unlocked the door. She left me there, still humming our song, our completely accurate and completely different song. Most are soppy love songs. Ours is a rock song. Yeah, we're unconventional.

I made a rash decision as the room began to fade. I stole her knife. I'm not letting her hurt herself again. It wouldn't stop her forever but maybe she'd rethink.

She is right. Our song really is our song. It's like the story of our relationship: you fall I fall and I am never letting you go. Do you hear that `lanta? I am not letting you go just yet; I am not letting you go ever again_._

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><p><strong>I repeat DO NOT COPY ATLANTA (and yes I have pyscho this week)<strong>


	20. Glories of War

**I'm back already! And I'm in a ranting mood as you will find out. **

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><p>It's been a while since I was in her bedroom, a while since I saw her- I still can't acknowledge that she does that to herself. At least I've got her knife so she has to wait until she either finds another or decides to stop, hopefully it's the latter. I don't want anyone or anything hurting her again. She's been through enough pain for a life time, more than. I'd caused most of it, I'm struggling to cope with the guilt of it now I've realised that I've done that to her.<p>

I've headed east like I said I would. It's weird. If this was the real world then I would have drowned a long time ago (if I could drown) but this wasn't the real world. There wasn't any water, anywhere. No ponds, puddles, lakes, oceans or seas anywhere. Maybe they're hoarding it for the sea monsters and stuff somewhere in the west. At least I don't need any; I don't drink so I can survive without water. I kinda miss it. I know it's tasteless and we mostly take it for granted but you kinda start to miss simple little things like that: water, food, people, and basically everything that I used to take for granted.

I've made one change now. I don't feel nearly as angry as I did when I first came here. When I first came here I was resentful and bitter that I'd been beaten and they were basically repeating the pattern by locking to problem up in Tartarus. I thought I was better than that, that I was better than everyone. In fact, in some ways I was weaker. In inheritance Percy would always be stronger but it's what you do with your heritage that determines how powerful you are. I was just an average son of Hermes that used his skills to prove that you can't underestimate those that, by birthright, should be weaker than others. I'm guessing Percy beat me because, well, he acknowledged he had flaws and played to his strengths whilst using his legacy from Poseidon to get the upper hand on the Titans.

But did he actually beat me? He never made any special moves against us, he used strategy to win the minor battles in the war but did he really win the final battle, the deciding battle, in the war?

Or did Annabeth? Fighting with words she was a deciding factor in my decision that ultimately brought me here.

Or did I? I was the one who 'killed' the Titans' leader but I didn't do it alone.

The Gods won but which half-blood won the war for them. Percy? Annabeth? Me? Or did no one? They won but at what cost? Who really was the child of the prophecy? Me or Percy? Or were there two? Will I ever know?

War is a paradox. You fight for peace but declare war. What's the point in it? It's not glorious its needless bloodshed. There. Is. No. Point. In. The. Fight. You get what you want but lose everything you had. There are no winners in war only losers.

There's another change. I'm using my brain and way over analyzing **everything. **Probably because I way too much time on my hands and nothing to do with it. Should start thinking to do. Erm...I'll stick to over analyzing everything for the time being. I need ideas.

I got Atlanta's knife out again. This wasn't half bad actually. Roughly twenty-two inches long and three inches wide it was more of a hunting knife than a combat blade. Pure celestial bronze blade with a bound leather hilt and was sharpened to diamond sharpness. Not surprised she decided to use this blade for what she did. It was a perfect weapon for her needs, I don't want to call them needs but she must feel she needs to do that if she does it.

I tested the sharpness and pressed the point to my fingertip. It needed very little pressure to split the skin. A perfect weapon. It seemed vaguely familiar as I turned it over in my hands.

_I winced as Thalia slashed her spear across my chest almost immediately it gushed blood over my shirt. She didn't stop and pushed me further towards the cliff edge. I flicked my sweat drenched hair out of my eyes. "I don't want to hurt you Thalia."_

"_You're a bloody traitor Luke! You deserve to die!" She was screaming the words at me. She was a challenging opponent though she had an unfair advantage. She had a shield, I didn't. More ways to kill with a shield and you had protection from your opponent's attacks. I had no time or the chance to check how my girlfriend was doing. I knew she was strong enough to fight her own battles, but this was a tough one. _

_I heard Atlas roar in anger somewhere to my left and somehow I knew he'd been defeated. How is that possible against a fourteen year old boy? I vaguely saw a flash of red and black as Atlanta side tackled Artemis, knives in hands and quivers on backs; almost complete mirror image to each other. I smirked, we had a chance._

_I made one last desperate lung at Thalia. It didn't work; I lost my weapon and was pinned to the spot, spear at throat and cliff edge behind me. Nothing. I broke the silence. "Well?"_

_Nothing but faint sounds of clashing blades before silence. Either Atlanta had beaten Artemis (please) or got her ass whipped. I wouldn't find out for a while. It was Annabeth who broke the silence this time. "Don't kill him!" Yes, hope; a double cross for me maybe..._

"_He's a traitor, a traitor!" Thalia pressed her blade harder against my throat. Or not..._

"_We'll bring Luke back. To Olympus. He'll...he'll be useful." Have they forgotten I'm still here?  
>"Is that what you want Thalia?" Manipulation time. "To go back to Olympus in triumph? To please your dad?" She hesitated and I saw a chance. I had a grab for her spear. I immediately regretted it. Without thinking she kicked me away, over balancing on the cliff edge.<em>

"_No!" My first thought: oh shit, my second: Ow, there wasn't a third for a very long time. _

When I'd woken up Atlanta wasn't with me anymore. She hadn't beaten Artemis, she'd lost and taken back to camp as a prisoner of war; the first and last, the only one taken by both sides.

I remember where I'd seen this before. It was on that day, the last time I'd seen it, the only time I'd seen her with it. I turned it over and squinted at the tiny inscription: to my daughter on her twenty-first. Oh fuck, I'd stolen Atlanta's hunting knife that Artemis had given her on her twenty-first birthday. Oh fucking crap, if Artemis wasn't mad with me before.

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><p><strong>If there is anything in particular that you want him to do, ideas are appreciated.<strong>


	21. Vegetarianism

**Thank you OcToPiRsQuIsHy for the idea and I am still open to them. Two chapters in one day and I've almost finished the next aren't you spoilt. **

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><p>I couldn't stop staring at the blade. I stolen things way more valuable than this (like the lightning bolt and the helm of darkness) and I have been known to steal from her (keys and cash mostly) but I've never gone this far.<p>

Other than her bow/banana clip, this was virtually the only object that Atlanta ever received from her mom. I have no idea how important this is to her, but I'd only ever got given a pair of flying shoes by my dad and they meant to world to me at one point. It was only until he came into my life that I changed priorities of my possessions. They went on to the 'disposable' list and destroying the world, sorry _Olympus_, went straight to top on the 'high priorities' list. Even `lanta came second to it, technically third since reviving Kronus was second. She should have been first and way above the rest (please note that these lists do not exist and I am NOT insane, well maybe a little. What? Insanity is fuel for the mind, or so they say). I shrugged at the thought.

But when she got this, it was still two months before she was dragged away from me. Maybe Artemis knew she wasn't sure if she'd made the right decisions. It was around that time that I'd really treated her bad and I somehow knew she doubts about things. Maybe this was a last ditch attempt to take her back to camp by her own choice. Guess I'll never know it would have been really clever if that was the plan.

I sighed and rewrapped it up in the scrap material. Maybe I would be able to give it back on day, once I know that it would be safe to do so. Sometimes I doubt if she'll ever get over what happened that year. She's still young, she was twenty-two when it happened probably twenty-three now, she has the rest of her life ahead of her if she can get out of the hole of depression I pushed her in. That's a pretty big if though. From what I've seen of her life she's in a very bad way. She needs help, my help. I was the one who got her into this mess and I'm probably the only one who'll ever get her out of it.

She's never liked doctors, nurses or needles (mainly because she left home because her dad injected her drugs but...) and if she reacts to them the way she used to then, well, basically let's say there is no hope that they can save her.

Oh Gods, I'd bloody gone and ruined her life. Aren't I the best boyfriend in the world? I am in Tartarus though, I didn't marry my sister (not that I had one in the first place) and shag her then eat five kids...and a rock...and barf them up. Yeah, I'm better than that, mainly because I can't do that.

"Son of thievery God in Laistrygonian territory," Shit. I turned round to face him- erm, it. Seven, eight feet tall and a total rippling mass of muscle. I'm totally out matched, I used to work out yeah but not for a long time and I'm only 6'1". I don't stand a chance unless...this guy doesn't know about `lanta's knife in my bag...maybe I have a chance... "Billy Bob will feast on hero flesh-"

"Sorry to disappoint you mate but: one, I'm not a hero and two: I'm nothing but skin and bones," I thought about it for a second. "Actually I'm not even that, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd just leave me alone and that you spread the word about it-" He started laughing. "What?"

"Such big words for such a small lunch-"

"I am not small!" I wasn't. "And I'm not going to be lunch." I unsheathed my sword and prepared for an attack.

"Ooh Billy Bob is _so _scared, not." He made the first move and aimed a swipe at me with his fist. I dodged backwards and made a downwards slash across his knuckles. He roared in pain as I gashed his wrist. I attempted to get behind him and stab him in the back but he saw it coming and my blade flew out of my hand to the left. My rucksack had fallen off in previous moves and now lay to my right. Secret weapon hidden in bag or obvious weapon in open, erm...

"Hero not as young and tender as his fellows, still fresh meat for Billy Bob." I looked between the advancing giant and the two weapons. I made my choice as he brought his fist down towards my head. I rolled suddenly to the left and his fist landed exactly where my head had been only a second before. Gulp. I grabbed the sword's hilt and pulled myself up to two feet holding the blade with both hands.

He threw a boulder at me next, which I think is a very unfair advantage. I ducked and managed, somehow, to gain access to my bag. Whilst BB turned round, I freed her knife for the material. Quick prayer to Artemis to let me use her daughter's knife before concealing it up my sleeve. "Hero should stop running, makes meat very stringy."

"Ever considered vegetarianism?" He looked at me bewildered for a moment; just the chance I needed. I plunged the sword into his ankle, a natural weak point, and ran round behind him. Again he roared in pain. I grabbed the hilt that still stuck out of his foot as he turned round leaving a long and thick red gash.

"Hero will pay for that!" He growled at me before making a final lunge. I flicked the concealed blade out. The last thing he saw was the flash of light that reflected off the blade as it moved. He fell on to the blade and it sunk deep into his chest cavity. "Ow..." He burst in to golden glitter.

I'd always thought that, if you ignore what it really was then, monster dust was actually quite pretty. It sparkled as it fell after you destroyed the monster and if it fell on a girl then it made them look pretty cute, deadly but cute.

I sighed a breath of relief and looked at the blades I know held. Her's was a better weapon but mine suited me more. You could probably sword fight with her knife but it would be no match for a weapon designed for that purpose.

I thought about something: I'd only asked if he'd considered vegetarianism to catch him off guard but it reminded me that `lanta was veggie. I laughed slightly. A vegetarian huntress, what next? A gothic child of Apollo or a really, really happy child of Hades? `Lanta had always been unorthodox though.

"Shit!" I'd spent too long admiring her blade and hadn't noticed BB was reforming. I still had to retrieve my weapon, grab my bag, and leg it before the next blank out came along; I could feel it coming.

I took a deep breath, grabbed my sword, shoved the knife into my bag, put my over my shoulder and started to run. I got about a hundred metres before I collapsed to deep laughter behind me...

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><p><strong>Dun dun DUNN cliffy! (my failed attempt to make this more interesting)<strong>


	22. Flea Ridden Mutt

**Before I start, I'm saying this: I have nothing against dogs, I just don't think Luke would be a dog person.  
>And I'm saying this: why no reviews last chapter? I felt unloved. I have an idea of how long this is going to be but I don't have enough ideas yet for the length I want. Any ideas are appreciated!<br>And I'm sorry but I am resolving the cliffy of last chapter yet. You'll have to wait, HA!**

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><p>"Luke..." Someone was breathing my name. "Luke, I know you can hear me..." I couldn't respond. "For Gods damn sake Luke. Wake. The. Hades. Up!" The person punched my shoulder more than playfully. I groaned. "That's better, now: hurry the bloody Hades up! You promised you'd walk the dog with me." I could tell the person was pouting even though I couldn't see them. I struggled to open my eyes though I battled through it. "Or do I have to send him in?" I managed to open my eyes a fraction. Battling a giant and not having one of these for a while can really take it out of you. "Alright Luke, you asked for it..." I heard them walk away and open a door. Next thing I knew was a rough and wet tongue licking my face. I attempted to push the owner of it out of my face.<p>

"Alright, alright I'm up; just get it out of here." They laughed, it's probably `lanta now I can hear her voice properly.

"That's what you get for sleeping in late and not keeping your promises." Way to shoot me down there `lanta. "Ice! Leave Luke alone for a minute." The tongue receded with a few whimpers. I finally opened my eyes. Few things I noticed: one, not in New York, probably in Canada with her Dad; two, I had to walk that mutt and three, it's snowing. "Nice of you to join me."

"Ha ha very funny `lanta, just get it out of here." She grinned at me and scratched the husky behind the ears. For some reason I felt jealous. She sent it out and sat down on the bed next to me. She smiled as she brushed my bangs out of my eyes. I looked at my watch-y thing: 0y 3m 28d 16h T.S.R. So after the other one but only just. She was already pregnant, when would I get that one I wonder? Gods, that sounded perverted.

I closed my eyes. "I know you're enjoying this Luke but you've got to keep your promises and you promised to walk the dog with me." I sighed.

"Fine, give me five minutes." I stood up and started to push her out the door. When she got there she grabbed the door frame and turned round.

"Don't I get a good morning kiss?"

"No." I shut the door in her face. I could hear complaining on the other side of the door. I opened the door, grabbed her shoulders and planted my lips against hers. She shut up and wrapped her arm around my neck whilst running her other hand though my hair.

"Oi, love-birds!" We broke apart. "Don't you have a dog to walk?" And I thought my mortal parent was strange. I'm guessing her dad was a punk in the eighties with the multiple facial and ear piercings and the drug addiction. He could have been more than forty five, fifty at most. He looked sort of like `lanta. For a start he had brown hair which was completely different but they shared the same skin tone, freckles and eye colour.

"Erm...sorry dad..." She still hadn't let me go, not that I wanted her to. That cut I'd given her looks really nasty actually, never been brilliant at first aid. Maybe I should get her to get a professional to look at it. I know this isn't real but I still care her.

"I don't mind you and him at this hour Lannie it's that bloody dog, it's doing me head in. I thought you said you were taking him for a walk."

"I was but this lug didn't want to get up." She pulled me closer. Is this my fault now?

"If he doesn't get his ass moving quickly I might change my mind over that relationship of yours." Did he know...?

She stood back and let me go. "You heard the man Luke, move that butt of yours now!" She giggled and picked the hound up, she call it Ice or something? I kissed her cheek.

"Yes miss." I closed the door on her again.

"Hey, do I look single?"

About an hour later we were standing in a snow covered field in the middle of nowhere with a bloody dog (I am not a dog person or a cat person, I don't really like animals that much...snakes are okay, they're cool). It was still snowing. I stopped walking and pulled my jacket closer to me. She carried on until she noticed I wasn't with her. She turned round. "Come on Luke."

"I'm cold and I preferred the bed." It was true, the bed was so much better than this. The flea ridden mutt dropped a stick at her feet and looked up expectedly at her. She picked it up and threw it away again. It ran after it. "Bloody stupid mutt," I muttered. Luckily she didn't hear me.

She walked back to me and took my hand. "Please Luke, you can die out here if you don't move." The dog ran back to her and shook it's coat. "I know a coffee shop that's not too far," She stood up on her tip toes and whispered in my ear. "They do a mean espresso."

"What about cappuccinos?"

"Not half bad-"

"I'm sold." She laughed before it became into a yelp. That fucking mutt had gotten bored and bitten her hand. I bent down to pick it's stick up and it growled at me. I glared at it and threw the stick as far as I could. "You okay `lanta?"

"Yeah, it's fine. No blood, see?" She held her hand out to me to show me. I smiled at her and kissed her hand.

"Now, that coffee..."

"About a kilometre in that direction." She pointed to her right.

"A kilometre in that direction! Do you have any idea what way we're going?"

"Yes, I did get from here to Connecticut when I was eight."

"By accident."

"You shouldn't be complaining, we've covered bigger distances than that before-"

"But I haven't had anything to eat yet." I threw the stick again.

"Never stopped you before." She laughed and I couldn't help but smile. She shivered comically. "Wanna get moving soon then?"

"Go on then." She whistled for the dog to follow and we headed right, holding her hand in the falling snow. "I want a cookie with it."

"You can have a cookie."

"Chocolate, freshly baked and still-"

"I can't promise that."

"But I can still have the cookie?"

She sighed. "Yes you can still have a cookie, probably chocolate."

"Yes, get in!"

There were laughs, flirting and barks before it ended. I got my cappuccino and freshly baked chocolate cookie and she never stopped holding my hand. That dog was even starting to grow on me. I don't think I ever stopped smiling.

I forgot what danger the real Luke was in...

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><p><strong>Little button at the bottem of the screen.<br>(INSERT DOWN ARROW HERE)**


	23. Dying Cat

**Still asking for ideas. You guys are terrible. One idea after three requests. I've got ones for the next 6 maybe 7.  
>I've unintentionally hidden a smiley in here. Can anyone find it?<br>More action, hopefully. It did not want to write itself this one. I had to think which I don't want to do since I'm on holiday.  
><strong>

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><p>It was cut off prematurely. You could tell because there was no warning like the others. She was hid sentence before this happened. What is happening I hear you ask. Well I'll explain (Hades I really have gone insane, I'm talking to myself. Help!):<p>

I was starting to come round. It hurt to say the least. It was like being drunk. You're out of it and you just don't want to wake up. Your mouth feels like you tried to swallow a sand pit and it feels like your tongue's too big for your mouth. Your eyes ache and it feels like there's someone acting the inside of your head with a hammer. It's a shame because being drunk can be real fun, coming round isn't.

I wonder if monsters fell like this after being destroyed and whilst reforming. It can't be fun for them. Speaking of which...

I groaned and got a mouthful of dirt. I tried to spit it out but only ended up with more dirt. I decided against opening my eyes but did it anyway. Why I do not know because it fucking hurt. Being dragged backwards facedown by the leg by a cannibalistic giant is not the best experience in the world, or wherever I was. It's like, well, being dragged backwards facedown by the leg by a cannibalistic giant obviously.

"Little hero awake now is he?" I was going to say something along the lines of I'm not a hero but it came out more like a dying cat (don't ask how I know what a dying cat sounds like). It laughed at me. "No escape this time; this time hero will be lunch for Billy Bob."

Okay, time for a situation check. Being dragged backwards, face down, by the leg, by a Laistrygonian giant, who wants to eat me, if that's possible. Also, unarmed. It's not my day is it? If this is over one day... So, bad position, nowhere to run, unarmed and about to be eaten. Yay me.

My options: 1. give up and get eaten.

2. attempt escape and probably get eaten.

3. buy time waiting for chance and probably get eaten.

4. attack- who cares what my options are so far all they're going to do are get me eaten! Hang on...something's given me an idea...

I lifted my face out of the dirt with a lot of trouble and turned my head towards him. I've got one chance at this...let's hope this works...

"Maia!" It turned round to look at me before letting go with a startled shout as my sneakers sprouted wings again. I kicked off from its back and hovered just out of its reach.

"Hey! That's not fair!" He dropped my bag and made a lunge for me and flew further out of its reach. It growled.

"Throwing rocks isn't very fair either." I was referring to the last time we met. "I think we're even." I ducked as it swung its fist at me.

"Lunch not meant to fly!" I grabbed my bag, pulled both blades out and dropped it again.

"Lunch not meant to have sharp pointy things either but hey I'm doing both!" Yes I have gone insane, probably from isolation and drunken experiences. I ducked, dodged and slashed at the guy as he lumbered about after me. I can remember why these shoes were so useful.

I was so close to beating him when I judged a moved wrong (what, even champions make mistakes...scratch that a **lot** of mistakes). I thought I was closer than I was and I over balanced. Recovering was difficult and he caught me unprepared. He knocked my blade aside and I stumbled. Just one blade left; an unfamiliar one, `lanta's, and I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to use it.

Not that it matters now. His foot is on my back and he's just wrenched the weapon out of my hand. So much for that hope. He laughed and the weight he held on my back lifted. Hmm...

"Little hero run out of fight. Too bad, Billy Bob will feast tonight!" He lifted his weight further off.

"So not considered vegetarianism then?" He stopped laughing.

"What little hero mean?"

"First of, stop calling me 'little hero'. I'm not little and I'm definitely not a hero." Lanta would disagree but she wasn't here and it doesn't matter what she thinks. That's not what I meant- oh Gods I treating like she has no character and is just an object. That isn't what I meant by- I meant it doesn't matter what she thinks **to the Gods. **It's her view and they don't listen to us, they might do now but they didn't before. I wonder what I've actually achieved-

Now isn't the time Luke.

Oh right, the whole 'I'm about to be eaten by a cannibal' thing. Okay, let's sort this out. "And I'm guessing you haven't considered not eating meat then?" `

"No meat, no heroes, no lunch so no." He laughed again and it was just the chance I needed. I rolled to the side and he was the one to over balance this time. I scrambled to a vertical flying position and grabbed both weapons. He managed to stand by this time and boy was he mad. "Little. Hero. Must. Be. Lunch!" He lurched towards me and I kicked him where I knew from experience it hurt. He was to make the sound like a dying cat (again not going in to it) and he collapsed to his knees.

"Maia." I landed back on the ground and flumes of dust appeared beneath my feet. He looked up into my face, tears of pain and failure in his eyes. I didn't show any emotion, just the stony face everyone around me had become accustomed to. I heard people say behind my back it was the one look that gave me authority. I placed the edge of my blade at the back of his neck and hers pointing directly at his throat. "Here's a tip for when you come through: choose. Your. Lunch. Carefully." With the last word I drove her blade into his neck until it connected with mine.

I stood back and tried to return to the Luke that was battle hardened; I have split personalities now. Is that a good thing?

I collected my bag and quickly packed up the knife. I gave it one last look and wiped the monster dust off it before pushing it deep inside. I'm looking after her blade better than my own. I haven't cleaned mine once since I got here. Her's had an almost permanent blinding shine to it.

I started running again. The blank out was coming and it felt big. I kept running. I don't want a repeat battle. This was hard enough as it is. I kept running. I chose a spot far off in the distance to get to before the darkness came. I took one deep breath and increased my speed. I was running to her.


	24. Aurora Borealis

**This will be the only update for today, I'm build to suspense. This is a two part blank out so you will get to know what he's doing but tomorrow! Ha this is me being the evil person I am.**

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><p>To cut a long story short, I almost got to the spot I was aiming for; about seven metres away actually, which I guess is that bad. I could have got there but I just happened to trip over some sort of rock or something and face plant the ground. That hurt to say the least. The darkness came soon after so it wasn't that bad, it will be when I come to though. Not looking forward to that, not at all. Then again I just wish I could stay in the dream world forever sometimes.<p>

I stayed in the darkness for a long time. Nothing happened and there wasn't anything there. I couldn't move either just keep standing and staring in to the never ending darkness. There weren't even the darkened images there had been in previous times. There would be something different this time. It was of slight relief when it started to fade. I wanted to get out of the darkness but I kinda didn't want to know what would be different.

My eyes blinked open and the inky darkness receded to be replaced with the gloomy one. Night...again. Why do all of these happen at night or really early in the morning (early for me anyway)? I checked the watch-y thing: 0y 3m 29d 06h T.S.R. It's the day after the last one. I've had three virtually directly in order now, better not get used to it. An actual clock next to me was beeping in my ear and read 5:30am. Why would anyone set a clock that early? I clicked the clock into silence, thankfully.

I sat up, careful not to disturb `lanta since she was lying pretty close, like too close for me to breath almost, if I needed to breathe. There was a note on the table opposite and a box. I pushed her away from me giving me enough room to stand up. I yawned, stood up, walked (slightly drunkenly) to the table, and picked the note up, and maybe it could give me some idea about what I'm doing here.

_Memo_

_Aurora Borealis predicted 19th March. At sunrise at roughly 7:20am. Get there around 7:00am. Do it then._

_Directions: out back door, straight on turn left on second left. Up path in woods up to clearing. Watch out for cliff edge. Roughly an hour._

I knew what this meant. I used to leave myself notes all the time, I have a really bad memory and especially when I have a lot to remember I write it down. I'm guessing I did the same thing last night for this. I suddenly felt really nervous and jumpy. I even jumped when some snow just slid off the roof. I was holding the box at the time and I almost dropped it. I looked back at the clock. 5:43am. Fifteen minutes to get there for when I should according to the note.

Unexpectedly very awake, I threw on a shirt and some jeans and dug both the note and box into my pocket, deep so that she wouldn't notice them. "`Lanta..." I whispered in her ear and she stirred slightly. I got an idea..."`Lanta I know you can hear me..." She didn't respond. "For Gods damn sake `lanta. Wake. The. Hades. Up!" I elbowed her side gently.

"That wasn't funny." She started to turn over away from me and I grabbed her shoulder. "Luke, let go, I'm trying to sleep."

"So was I yesterday but I got up for you." She groaned. "I've got a surprise for you..." She looked at me suspiciously. It was one way to put it.

She sighed. "Fine..." She stood up and shot daggers at me. If looks could kill.

"Meet you at the back door, you've got five minutes." I left her there and went to find my sneakers. I shut the door on her and I could still hear her abuse. How she hadn't woken her dad up yet was a mystery.

"Luke Castellan I hate you!" I really hoped she didn't.

Just over five minutes later I was still waiting by the back door. If she didn't hurry up then we'd miss it and this wouldn't have the same effect. Please can this go right. This had to be one of the most nerve racking things I've ever done.

"Luke..." I looked up and she was standing at the bottom of the stairs looking really guilty and already wearing her jacket and snow boots. She'd piled her hair up to the top of her head and probably held it there with her bow. I've never known her go anywhere without it, even if she isn't wearing it. I held my arm out to her; she almost immediately came over to me and let me put my arm around her. "Sorry about that, but you know I don't like being woken up early." She really didn't, she had a right go at me once when I woke her up just after she'd got to sleep. I didn't stay in the same bed as her for about a week.

I hugged her tighter. "I know but I had to do this now." I let her go and she looked at me. I pick a long piece of black material off the kitchen counter. "I hope you don't mind-"

"This better be some Hades of a surprise being woken up at ungodly hours and being blindfolded." She closed her eyes and tied it around them. I kissed her forehead and took her hand.

"It will be." I opened the door and lead her out into the biting cold.

She stumbled over another snow concealed root and I caught her shoulders to stop her falling. Maybe I should have chosen somewhere else to do this, didn't think about how hard it would be to walk up here with a blindfold on. "Twenty-five." I guided her away from a tree that stood in her path.

She squeezed my hand. "Twenty-five what?"

"Twenty-five-" She stumbled again. "Sorry twenty-six times you've tripped up tonight." She gave me that 'shut up' type of look (or tried to), let go of my hand and proceeded to walk into an overhanging branch. She screamed, brushing madly at her hair.

"What the Hades was that?" I calmly took her hand and started walking with her again.

"A branch." She punched my shoulder.

"That's it, I want to go home." We stumbled out in to the clearing about ten minutes later than we should have been, well she stumbled I walked. It's the same place where I saw her try to commit suicide in the real world. Maybe that's what I meant by 'watch out for the cliff edge.' At least this will have nothing to do with that and hopefully won't mean I'll attempt the same in a few minutes.

"But we're there." I stopped, let her hand go and carried on walking again. She stayed behind me, completely confused. I stopped again about five metres in front of her. I turned round to face her and removed the box. I rubbed it nervously with both hands before I flipped it opened and waited.

"Luke?" She stumbled again trying to find me. "Luke? This isn't funny!" It shouldn't have been but it was. I didn't see the funny side not at this moment. Maybe later but not now. The wind blew across the top of the cliff throwing snowflakes into our faces. She fumbled with her hair trying to get it out of her mouth. "Luke, where are you?" Right on que they turned up just as blurred orange light appeared on the skyline; ribbons of blue, green and white dancing against the deep blue of the night sky. I moved round at bit to make sure I was directly in front of them. "Luke!" She pulled the blindfold down and she looked so angry. It melted out of her face though when she saw me. "Luke..."


	25. Cliff Edge

**Hey peeps! Here is the second half of the previous chapter so I'll shut up.**

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><p>She stood staring at me, hands still clutching the black material that was now around her neck. She said my name again, this time it was barely audible. The strong wind blew across again and she made no move to fix her hair but let it fly into her face. Her eyes watered, I'm not sure if it was from the wind and cold or if it was me. Her mouth kept making shapes like she was going to say something but no sound ever came out. She covered it with her hand and kept staring at me. She swallowed but still couldn't move or speak.<p>

I smiled warmly at her. "Atalanta Charlène Hunter," I got down on one knee and offered her the box, "will you," I swallowed hard as the words got stuck in my throat, "marry me?" The words came out really quiet and ridiculously high. If this had been any other time I would have made some sort of quirky comment like 'Gods that sounded like someone just kicked me in the balls' but now wasn't the time and I couldn't speak. I was frozen like she was.

Above us the northern lights still went on forever changing from the green and blue hues and into the red and purple ones before switching again. They snaked across the deep purple sky obscuring the pin pricks of light that were stars. If I wasn't doing this I would be hypnotised by the swirling mass of colours but I had other things to think about. Behind me the skyline started to turn orange as the sun started to rise silhouetting the trees that stood there.

She said something but it came out more as a squeak than a recognisable word. She swallowed and moved her hand away before repeating it but it still came out more as a breath. "Yes..." Her face broke out into a grin. "Yes, yes, yes!" She ran over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I swear I almost fainted when she said yes. She whispered in my ear and ran her hand through my hair. "Yes, I will marry you Luke Castellan." She pulled herself away from me and I slid the ring on to her left hand. A delicate ring of silver beset with crystals of green and diamonds. She clenched her fist and hugged me again. I stood up and she was still hanging on to my neck.

After a while she still had her face buried in my chest. I nuzzled her neck and wrapped my arms round her waist. "You're missing the show." She looked up from my chest and up to the skies. They still united and combined, contrasting and changing above us. She looked back at me then the lights and back to me before leaning on my shoulder. I rubbed her back comfortingly and she sighed.

"I've always wanted to see them..." She was still being unusually quiet. I held her tight to my body, never wanting to let her go. I did it, I thought about in the real world but never got round to doing it with her being captured, me being possessed and all the other crap that was going on. I sent her a note about a week before I- well, before he became me. Basically saying how I was sorry about it ending like that and how I wished it could have ended differently for us. Half the paper was scribbled out words and I even wrote what I said only a few minutes ago. That went in the scratched out part. I'd even picked out a ring for her. I did plan to propose only four days after the winter solstice but then came the cliff incident and she wasn't with me and I was out for about a month so it was totally impossible and I never thought about it again, until tonight. "How did you know?" She snapped me out of my train of thought.

"Hmm?"

"How did you know that it's been my dream since I was a kid to be proposed to under the northern lights?" She looked up at me and I am bloody certain her eyes looked like the sky above, without the red and purple.

I shrugged but didn't move my arms from her waist. "Let's say some little bird told me-"

"Did you read my diary?" I looked away, I have no idea how I knew. "Luke did you?"

"Erm..."

"You did, didn't you? Luke I-" Yeah, yeah you're tired, cold, and pissed, I got it. Why don't you just shut up and kiss me? How `bout it `lanta? Oh, wait, you already are.

Well okay, I got fed up with her rants about her diary and how I'd 'looked' inside. I only did that once and Gods was she pissed, I couldn't be in the same class as her for a week and didn't speak to me for a month. Bit of an awkward position when you're both the Hermes and Artemis cabins' chariot team.

I caught her mid word and pressed her parted lips to mine. She tried to pull back and carry on her rant but I held her there until she relaxed which didn't take long. I held her hips and she held both sides of my face. She brushed her hands through my hair and I pulled back but only enough that our lips didn't touch anymore. There was a pinkish wash across her freckled cheeks. She smiled weakly at me. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"You're tired and I woke you up, I deserve a bit of bashing." I smirked at her and she sniggered. She pulled herself out of my grip.

"What? Like this?" She pushed hard against my shoulders and I stumbled backwards. Luckily there wasn't a cliff edge behind me this time. I regained my balance and grabbed her shoulders and squeezed.

"Please don't do that `lanta, not here. At the house, yes, at the apartment, yes, on top of cliff, no definite no." She looked really confused and I'm guessing she had no idea what I was on about. Did no one tell her? I coughed to cover for Thalia. "...pushed me off Mount Tam."

"Who?"

"Doesn't matter." I took her hand and squeezed it.

"Is that why you didn't-" She looked at me, all concerned like.

"I was out for a month and I didn't stand up for another two." I looked at her and wrapped my arm over shoulders. "If I could have then I would have." We started walking back down as the lights ended and were replaced my ordinary daylight.

What would have happened if I had gone back for her, if I could have? How would this be different? Would I still have hosted him and would I still have died or would she have saved me? The titans would still have lost but would it be for a different reason? How much of an influence did `lanta have on my choices then?

The honest answer: I don't know...

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><p><strong>Atlanta's ring web address is on my profile <strong>**but it's green not blue. **


	26. Insolence

**I'm betting this is not when people expected after the last one.**

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><p>The first thing I noticed after all the drunken after effects was the sharp pain in my side. It wasn't like a constant pain, it was like someone was jabbing me in the side. Please can it not be a monster checking me out for food, I've had enough of trying not to be eaten at this moment in time.<p>

I rolled over on to my back with a groan and looked up at my intruder. Not much I can tell since they're partly silhouetted against the sky. Has to be a woman with curves like that, quiver, bow, red hair (I think), empty scabbard, it can't be... "`Lanta?" I pushed myself up on to my elbows and took a closer look.

"If you dare start comparing me that insufferable daughter of mine then I swear-" She came off the horizon and it was clear that it wasn't my girlfriend. Though she did look surprisingly similar when in the form of an adult. No freckles and different eyes but other than that they were virtually the same, then it hit me, `lanta had really short hair and Artemis didn't.

I pushed myself up on to my feet. "Yeah, yeah, don't have a fit; simple mistake-"

"With her the way she is, yeah, it's a simple mistake." Note the heavy sarcasm. She folded her arms across her chest and placed all her weight onto one foot. Actually she was right, `lanta would never dress like that or wear a tiara (if that's what you call it) and she certainly wouldn't be here. Artemis sighed and turned her back on me, guess I'm a disgrace to the human race being a guy and all.

"She does have a name though-"

She turned round quickly and her thick plait span out around her. "And it's not `lanta!"

"It was to me!" There was silence as neither of us moved. I heard something off to my right and her ear pricked up at the noise. I felt so bad for talking about her like that. I only mentioned her name once and I'm fighting it out with her mom about what her name is.

She was the first to look away. "I didn't come here to fight with you."

"Well it seems like that plan has gone to the wind." She glared at me and I smirked at her. It had gone astray though.

I picked my bag up and threw it over my shoulder before folding my arms. "Fine, why are you here then?" She raised an eyebrow. "Alright! What honour has been bestowed on me to be graced by your presence, Lady Artemis?" I spat her title out in disgust. I still don't like the Gods, especially Hermes and Artemis.

"That's better, you could learn some manners boy." She came over and stood in front of me. I had a good two inches on her at least, she's taller than `lanta like this. "I'm here for my daughter's knife." I didn't falter. I should have known that was why she was here. "There's no point denying it, I know you have it."

"I'm not denying it, I want to know why you want it." I fixed her with that demanding stare.

She scoffed. "Your tricks won't work on me, **boy**." She was determined to call me a boy, am I not worthy of the term man in your eyes, **Lady **Artemis? "I wish to return it to its rightful owner." She raised her gaze up and held her hand out.

"At what cost?" She faltered at the unexpected question. She almost started laughing at me.

"I am not paying a boy for what he stole from my daughter and what rightfully belongs to her." I fixed her another stare, a deadly serious one.

"I'm not talking about payment." She frowned. "I'm talking about the cost it will have on her life by giving it back." I sneered at her, remembering what a thrill fighting them was.

"Wha-what?" Got you. I broke gaze and dug my hands deep into my pockets and rocked on my heels.

"Oh, so do you not know? You don't know what your daughter does with this knife-"

"It's not my business!"

"Life do funny things to a person. It can make them go insane, give them riches, twist their minds and shatter their hopes, Hades it might even make them," I fixed her confused face in my gaze, "use things to-"

"Atlanta does not do self-harm! How dare you insult her like this-"

"And how would you know, it's. Not. Your. Business!" She stood back. "You can't keep denying it Artemis, I've seen it and you know as well as I do!" I made a gesture with my arm.

She flinched and her silvery eyes had a watery sheen to them. "I..."

"So, you do care." I pulled `lanta's knife from my bag and held it, hilt out, to her. "If you do care for her then you will listen to me. Do. Not. Give. Atlanta. This. Knife." I was holding it too tight and red liquid dripped from under the blade and on to the ground.

"Your hand..."

"There's the knife Artemis, it's what you came for." Yes it hurt but knowing that she had the chance to save her was better than any healing touch. She took the hilt and pulled it out of my grasp before I had chance to let go. I winced as it dug deeper into my hand causing more liquid to spill. "You are holding one of the last chances Atlanta has at rebuilding her life." I turned my back on her. "Don't ruin it." I started to leave.

"Luke..." She sounds just like `lanta when she was on that cliff edge. I turned my head to her and she grabbed my arm to stop me going any further. "I may not approve of your relationship with my daughter but maybe you're not as bad as I though, for a man."

I could feel the gashes in my hand closing up with her touch. She called me a man not a boy. Do I- what the Hades does that even mean now I'm dead. I pulled my arm back out of her grip. "Remember you're Atlanta's final hope."

"What about the medication and therapy?" I could tell she was frowning.

"I know what she needs and it isn't that. She needs someone who's always there for her, whenever she needs it."

"You sound like you're talking from experience." Her voice was getting fainter. She wasn't following me.

"I am." I remember bitterly my early child hood. No father and psychotic mother I had no one I could talk to. No one would have understood. Atlanta did, that's why I left with her.

"I can't be there for her all the time and I know Andrew can't-"

"And?"

"There's only one person who that could be."

"I know." I know only too well. "Me."


	27. Safe and Sound

**I reread this chapter and I am telling the truth I almost cried. This and the next chapter are why this story is angst. **

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><p>I was standing in the corner of one of those intensive care units in a hospital; again I have no idea why. I wasn't alone. Heart rate monitor and faint voices were the only sounds in the room. Three people were standing round to only bed in the room. I couldn't see the occupant. They hadn't noticed I was here or they couldn't see me- Gods no...Please can it not be who I think it is...<p>

I've never liked hospitals, not that I've been admitted. It's just the idea of it all gives me that creeps. I know they're saving people's lives but still...

The door opposite me opened and a fourth person walked in. Obviously a doctor with what he's wearing. "Nurse Jones, update." One of the people stood back and picked a clip board up from the table. They handed it to the guy as he walked towards the bed.

"No change, stomach pumped of substances at 1:14pm but no change in her condition." I looked at the clock; 1:14 was just over an hour ago.

"Still unconscious then?"

"Yes, if anything she's gone deeper." The doctor went over to the bed side and took some readings from the bleeping machines whilst flicking between the pages on the clip board.

"Situation recap." Another person answered this time. They stood up and pointed to the board.

"Estimated time of pills taken: 12:00am, answered door to mailman at 12:45 about, collapsed unconscious and the emergency call made only minutes later."

"Has the next of kin been informed?"

"No, we can't seem to get hold of him." He looked between the patient and the board.

"Right, need an eye on her and if anything changes then-" He was cut off by one of the nurses.

"Heart rate falling!" They looked at the machine and back at the patient. They scrambled into action and I looked away. I don't belong here, I don't know who this is, I only get these for- please I'm begging you don't do this. I ran a hand through my hair and hit my head repeatedly against the wall. This cannot be happening.

The next thing I knew was a hand being placed on my shoulder. "Luke..." I turned round. It was her alright. Just standing there as if nothing was happening, just standing there as if she wasn't on the other side of the room dying. She looked just the same as the last time I saw her, short hair, unimaginably skinny and still with the baggy sweater. "Luke, are you okay-?" I pulled her into me and hold her close.

"I should be the one asking you that." She looked up and I gestured to where her body lay. The staff were still trying to save her. She shrugged.

"Honestly didn't notice that I'm not dead yet."

"And you're not going to be." I let her go. She took a step back and stared at me like I was mad.

"Wha-what?"

"`Lanta, you're twenty-three-"

"Twenty-four."

"Find then, twenty-four. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, don't end it now." I looked away from those pained eyes filled with rejection. She's older than me now; I never thought that would happen. Would I still get these when she was forty-something?

"But..."

"There's more to your life than just me `lanta."

"Not anymore there isn't." She guided my face back to hers. "My life was yours and you took that away from me." She hugged me and I held her in my arms.

I whispered into her hair. "Did you get your knife back?" She tensed up.

"Ho-How did you know it was missing?"

"Let's just say it was an intuition." I didn't want to tell her that I took it; I didn't want her to know that I saw her cut herself.

"Erm, okay then..." She wasn't convinced. "No, I've got it back yet." Yes, Artemis did listen to me and didn't give it back. She had given `lanta the chance she needed. She pulled back and brushed her fingers over the cuts and scratches on my shirt. I winced as she touched on of the ones that hadn't healed yet. "You look terrible..." She looked up at me with genuine worry in her eyes.

"I'm fine." I ran a comforting hand through her hair. She closed her eyes and sighed. I've always been able to do that.

She stayed quiet in my arms for a long time. I kept watching the doctors trying to get her heart going again, hoping they would. Don't get me wrong, I want her back with me but I don't think I'm ready to look after her again yet. I'm not sure if it was my imagination or not but they seemed to be succeeding.

I let her go and rested my hand son her shoulders. She looked up at me. "`Lanta, I don't know how to put this, but-"

"But what?"

"But this isn't the end for you." She was starting to fade as the machine's bleeps became louder and more consistent.

"What?" She didn't look convinced.

"Use your ears for once," I sighed and gently pulled on her multi-pierced ear. She looked away as the staff were heard saying that she would pull through. She looked back at me quickly.

"There's got to be something you can do!"

I shook my head. "There isn't anything I can do `lanta, I'm not a fate." Actually I don't know when her life string ends, it could be now or it could be in fifty years. I might have been able to do something even if it was to extend this conversation. "There is something you can do."

"Anything!" She desperately wants to stay with me.

I kissed her forehead. "Promise me." I closed my eyes; I could bear to see those painful eyes. "Promise me, you'll have a good life."

"But-" I snapped my gaze back to hers and fixed her green eyes to my blue ones.

"Promise me, please `lanta." I could feel my eyes starting to get wet. "Take it as my last request to you." After some hesitation, she nodded as crystal like tears ran down her pale cheeks.

"I-I don't want to go." She held tight to my arms and squeezed her eyes shut.

I kissed her forehead again. "I know you don't `lanta but there's nothing either of us can do." I pulled her into me and felt her sob into my shoulder. One of the nurses announced that she was coming to. I pushed her off of me. She started shaking as she tried to hold the tears back. I smoothed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead for a third time. She stopped shaking and took a deep breath.

"At-at least you're saying goodbye this time." I laughed slightly at her.

"I would have done it last time if I could have." She looked up at me and there was a definite difference in her.

"I'm never letting you go Luke..." I let the tears fall and gave her one last hug.

"I know you won't." Those were the last words I said to her as she came to. "I know you won't."


	28. Scars

**Okay we're over half way though this now and I've almost got the last part planned.  
>Updates will become less frequent now because the holidays are over and thanks to OcToPiRsQuIsHy for the, um...interesting review. <strong>

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><p>I took a deep breath. I'd said my final goodbyes. I clenched my hands in fists. Those were the last words I'd ever say to her and those that she said to me. I stood up. I'm stronger than that. I focused on the distance. I'm strong enough to know when to let go. I picked up my sword. I'm strong enough to move on. I swung it in front of me. I'm strong `cause I'm Luke Castellan, resurrector of the titans and only human inhabitant of Tartarus, I'm strong enough to survive anything.<p>

With a single slash of my sword the dracaena dissipated in the gold dust that now completely surrounded me. It was the last one; the other half dozen had already extinguished in the powder. I'd got out of this one without too many scratches. Good thing too, I'm determined never to have another one of those blank outs. I don't want to see her, I've said goodbye, and I'm not going to watch what could have been my life with her now. It's still going to take time but doesn't everything? I can never get rid of them for good but there's nothing I can do about that, just put them off for as long as I can. If I can do this then I know that she'll be able to do anything now she has her life back. Our first step is to stop thinking about each other, so, bye `lanta.

I blew the excess dust off my blade and re-sheathed it. Seven down and only three hits, not bad since I only have one blade now. Why didn't I just say that she couldn't have it and keep it for myself, I need it more than she does? I never think things through properly like I said moments ago that I wouldn't think about her again and I just did. Or when I decided to over throw Olympus, yep, never think anything through properly. That might be why my quest failed; I didn't think about a plan I was so desperate to prove myself. I almost ended up killing my two best friends because of it. For some reason they didn't mind being thrown of cliffs, eternally scarred, forever shamed and whatever else happened. My girlfriend of the moment minded, a lot, well, enough to dump me. Who dumps someone because they fail a quest and end up with a scar? Shannon Kniveton that's who. She was not happy when I got back with Chad and carrying an unconscious Atlanta. She demanded to know everything even though I was holding someone who was dying. She dumped me about five minutes later. Harsh.

"_Damn it Luke! I demanded to know what happened!" She'd dyed her hair again, not that this was the time to notice it. She'd gone a sort of purple-y colour, which I'm not sure if it was meant to be that colour. Her chocolate coloured eyes looked up at me, worried and accusingly, sparkling in the moonlight._

"_Erm..." I couldn't speak, that was until Chad kicked me. "Ouch! What was that for?"_

_He looked at me accusingly than down at Atlanta who we were carrying between us. "`Cause you've forgotten what we're doing! This is no time for you two love birds!" He balanced on one leg and shook his foot to get rid of the blood on it. It wasn't his. I glanced between the two of them._

"_You're right." I got better grip on Atlanta's body and gestured for Chad to keep moving. "Sorry Shan but now isn't the time." That got her pissed if she wasn't before. _

"_That wasn't what you said before!"_

"_That was before I realised you'd stop me saving my best friend's life!" Crap, the cut on my face had started bleeding again. If we hadn't lost enough blood already. Already all of our orange shirts had gone a sort of red-y brown colour, Atlanta's completely. "No offence Chad." He shrugged._

"_You said I'd always come first!" She stamped her foot and pouted. _

"_Yes, but not when someone's life is at risk!" I glared at her and she glared back. Chad dropped Atlanta's legs and she groaned through her unconsciousness. I looked at him. He had blood in his dark hair, smeared over his face and soaked into his clothes but there wasn't a visible scratch on him. There was this little throbbing vein in his neck under his tattoo; he could one premature since his dad owned a tattoo parlour in the city. Not the time to mention it though. _

"_I've had it with you two! You haven't stopped arguing since we got back ten minutes ago! Shannon, Atlanta is dying, can't you just leave Luke alone for five minutes to get her to the infirmary! And, Luke get your priorities sorted out for which girl you want! I'm going to get Chiron." He turned round and ran up to the big house, leaving me with my ticked off girlfriend. I sat down on the bank and waited for him to return. I laid Atlanta's head in my lap and brushed her hair out of her eyes. Shan stood over me with her hands on her hips. _

"_Well?"_

"_Well what?"_

"_Well are you going to say which girl you prefer?"_

"_No because there's no contest..." I looked up at her and smiled weakly at her. _

"_But who do you prefer?" She kicked my shoulder and I winced. Yet another unhealed cut was there._

"_You're my girlfriend and Atlanta's just a really old and close friend. There's no contest." I won't mention the times I dreamt and imaged making out with Atlanta on the beach before it getting slightly more heated..._

"_You prefer her don't you?" Gods this is not going well._

"_What? No! There's nothing between us-" It just happened to be that moment that Atlanta called out my name. This really isn't going well. _

"_You cheated on me! With her! That frigid bitch!" Shit._

"_No! That's not what it's like-"_

"_Forget it Luke, it's over." She turned round and walked away. It felt like she'd just punched me in the gut. Chad returned moments later with a stretcher. He knelt next to me and together we placed our teammate onto it. _

"_Chiron's prepping a bed and told me to bring her in as soon as possible." We started carrying her back to the big house. _

"_Like we weren't going to do that anyway." Nervous laughter._

"_What happened to Shannon?"_

"_Shannon? Harpies got her."_

"_Really?"_

"_No, she dumped me because she thought I cheated on her with Atlanta."_

"_Harsh."_

"_That's what I thought."_

Apparently we got there just in time. According to Chiron, another few hours then there would have been no chance of saving her. Shannon got over it all quick though, she started dating this older guy within a day of dumping me. Took me a month before I realised my feelings for Atlanta and another one before I asked her out.

Luke, I thought you were meant to be forgetting her.

Oh right.


	29. Under the Falling Sun

**I'm back and I'm just saying THE HUNGER GAMES ARE AMAZING! Can't get Catching Fire and it's annoying the piss out of me.  
>Anyway, enough of my rantings.<strong>

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><p>I'd finally got back on to what should be land and off what should be under water. Somehow I think that's an achievement, escaping America and the main source of the western civilization and the titans and most of the monsters. Should be easier from now on, not that it won't hurt to keep moving though; if I want to not have any of those things. Haven't had one in a while though...<p>

I leant back against the wall, scanning the landscape for anything that moves. The only things that moves here are me and the monsters. So if I see anything moving it's the time to start moving, quickly. Nothing at the moment, this is good. I've had enough of running and hiding, I just want to go home but I guess this is my home now. I mean, if she's twenty-four now and back then she was two months off her twenty-third birthday then I've been gone just over a year. A year. That's hard to get my head round. A year and nothing's changed for me. It's felt twice as long, probably because I'm living two lives (the after live and fantasy life) but that's going to change now...or not...

My back skidded down the wall as my legs started to give in. I winced as it ran over my spine, the place I got my first scar down here. Injuries don't fully heal during those blank outs; just enough to stop them ripping back open, like Atlanta's threatened to do after she was let out the infirmary. She was only let out once they knew that the threat of death from blood loss or internal bleeding was gone. She almost had too much ambrosia and nectar which didn't help matters. Of course she wasn't allowed to do any activities until Chiron was sure it had healed enough. That's what you get if you get four deep cuts down to the bone across the chest with mass internal bleeding; she never went near that dragon when we went back to Mount Tam. Wish we hadn't gone back. My reasons not hers.

Anyway, I was lying on the ground losing consciousness thinking about the girl I shouldn't be thinking about heading back to where a version of her was. My plan is not going well, not in any sense of the word.

Again like the second (?) time, I felt her before I saw her. Not because it was dark or my eyes were closed, but because my vision went dodgy. Mid-kiss, yes! Maybe this is the one I was waiting for- actually not. One, it's perverted and degrading for her and two, I want to forget her so this is probably not going to help.

Vision returned to normal as she started to pull away, if it is her... "That what you wanted?"...yep, it's her. I blinked hard and repeatedly to regain full vision. "Didn't think it was that good..." Her voice trailed off when I stopped. Suddenly I really wanted her...no! Not in that way, oh Gods...I have a dirty mind, oh well.

I stroked her cheek and watched her smile, that bloody gorgeous smile. "Whatever you do is amazing." The smile changed to that evil one, not evil but sneaky.

"You mean everything?" I nodded not certain where she was taking this conversation. "Okay then..." She pulled her hand out of my grip and, basically, punched me in the jaw, for no reason. "Was that amazing?" She folded her arms and raised her eyebrows. I rubbed my reddening jaw and glanced at the watch. 0y 0m 3d 15h. So it's around this time...

"No." I pouted as much as I could and she laughed at me. It wasn't fair. I'd only come back three days ago and already she's deciding to beat me up for no reason, actually, she has a lot of reasons...maybe that was justified. She brought her face close to my own and gently pulled my hand from my face. She carefully pressed her lips to my jaw and pulled back. She still didn't remove her face from mine. "Is that all I get?"

She removed her face out of mine and shrugged. "Guess so."

"Not one on the lips then?" She looked confused, but not in the genuine way.

"I didn't hit you there." I pouted again and she rolled her eyes. I smiled. "Fine then." She stood on her tip-toes and tenderly pressed her lips to mine. I moved my hands to her head and kept her there. She tried to scowl but it was only a flash as it became more passionate.

I shouldn't be doing this but it just felt so right, just like the old days before...I don't want to think about it at the moment, just her. My girl. My willing sexy girl. I know I'm trying to forget her but there isn't much else I can do now I'm here.

She wrapped her arm around my neck so neither of us could pull away, even if we wanted to. Her other hand ran through my hair, just how she knew I liked. Somehow she had to ability to do this and stroke my cheek with the hand around my neck. Never thought about how she did it, just enjoyed it.

I broke for one minute and I could tell she wasn't happy. It was getting dark and I just thought of something. "Shouldn't you be getting back before curfew?"

She attempted to shrug. "Shouldn't you be resting?" Touché. "Anyway it started about ten minutes ago, so it looks like I'm spending the night with you."

"That's fine with me." We started kissing again and I ran my hands over her hips and stomach, under her shirt. I really missed this. Us, no monsters, no danger, no- knock at the door- interruptions. She pulled back and let go sharpish and I shot over to sit on the bed. She opened the door to Chiron. From what I could hear they were discussing plans about where she'd be that night. He glanced at me and gestured that I had something on my face. He left and rubbed at it. `Lanta's lip gloss; red, glittery lip gloss. Very manly. She gave me that look and crouched down to remove the sleeping bag from under the bed. I grabbed her arm and pulled her up. She was sharing this bed and that was a fact. "Surely you don't prefer that cold and hard floor," making it sound bad, "to me," I sound better, hopefully.

"Well, never been one to abide the rules were we?" She climbed up and placed her hands on my shoulders. "You've got a bit of..." She pointed to where it was on her own face.

"Wanna lick it off for me?" No answer; just did it. She traced her tongue along my cheek to my mouth. Kissing resumed. I broke it and looked at her in that look only she understands; she didn't always though but she did tonight.

"Wrong way round?" I nodded and she stood up. I moved and we swapped places. "Where were we?" Started exactly where we left off. The last thing I remember was sliding her jacket off her shoulders and her lips pressed to mine under the falling sun.

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><p><strong>I'm leaving the rest to your dirty minds. This is T remember so I could write it here so reader participation time!<strong>


	30. Mine

**So sorry for the long update, there was no valid reason for it. This chapter connects to another story I posted a few weeks ago that no one has seemed to read. **

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><p>"I heard that, erm-"<p>

"Trust me, I don't."

Snippets of casual conversation over the cry of the radio and tattoo needle drift over to me. Yeah, it's one of those things again. Chad's there this time, doing his job. Followed his dad in to the world of tattoo artist. He's done Atlanta twice, once on her back and once on the inside of her knee.

I was leaning up against the wall watching them. The continuous drone of the needle wafting through the background music and their small conversation.

**_You do know that you can influence this._**

_Yes and? _

**_Ever heard of a thing called chaos?_**

I rolled my eyes and pushed myself away from the wall. I walked over to where they were and looked at the design she'd handed over earlier. Black phoenix rising out of red flames.

"There are times where I hate him." Chad was the one who had spoken, which shocked me. "He virtually tried to kill us all."

"Yeah but so did I." She did a sort of one armed shrug.

"But that's not the same." _How? _I frowned. We were both in that.

"How?" It was Chad's turn to shrug.

"How are you holding up?" She turns to him. "Getting over it yet?" She scowled at the floor.

"I don't think I will ever get over it." Chad looked like he's going to say something but Atlanta powers on. "He ripped my heart out and it won't ever heal properly. And for that I will always hate him." Whoa, did not expect that.

**_Knew it all along._**

_Shut up._

He pulled away from her arm, gently wiping away any blood drawn. "That's new."

Her head snapped to glare at him. "What would you feel if it was Sarah?" Awkward...

**_Snippy._**

_Shut up._

Sarah's a girl from the Aphrodite a couple of years younger than the three of us. Blonde with these funny coloured eyes, a strange blue shade that's caught between lavender and light blue. She's really nice but not my kinda girl.

Chad pushed his chair away from her and reached into his desk on the opposite side. In a small voice, barely audible, he said: "That's different."

Atlanta looked down at the floor, away from Chad. "I know. I shouldn't have brought it up."

He looked at her like nothing ever happened, that they didn't know each other before this meeting. He handed over a plastic pack and she took it from him, still not meeting his gaze. "You know what to do with this." She nodded and pushed herself out of the chair and followed him out of the room. She handed over her card and looked out the window. "Atlanta?"

"Hm..." She looked back at him, the awkwardness past.

"Find someone, okay? It's not good for you to be on your own." She downcast her eyes and returned her card to her purse.

"Yeah, just...yeah." She looked over her shoulder and I follow her eye line. A brown haired guy was waiting for her outside, looking back at her. Atlanta smiled back at him. I keep telling her to move one but I never thought she actually would...

**_Tut tut tut buddy boy. Make up your mind._**

_I'm not saying it again._

I closed my eyes for a moment and the next time they opened, it was dark and I'd moved. It was dark and I could just see her back. She was facing the mirror but I couldn't see her face. I couldn't tell if she'd been crying or not.

She looked up and our eyes met through the mirror. She scowled and I wasn't sure if it was at herself or at me. Her poison thoughts were almost readable from her look. _Maybe we had something once. But not anymore. _

I don't know what I was thinking, I was moving on auto-drive.

"Atlanta..."

She shuddered and looked away.

"I need you Hunter."

**_What are you doing?!_**

I wasn't sure, but now she was crying.

I didn't say anything but she looked up and glared.

"Leave me alone."

**_Listen to her!_**

"Help me." He's right. I'm weak. I need help. I need her to help me.

Her eyes narrowed and they clouded over. I knew she wasn't thinking straight, but maybe this was what she always thought.

"Leave. Me. Alone!"

She drove her fist into the mirror and it shattered. The image broke and the darkness returned. This bled through to the street where I started it all. The shadows had moved and the howls crawled closer but I couldn't have thought of it at that point.

**_Now do you see? You're weak Castellan, always have._**

Subconsciously, I nodded. I thought back to when I was sixteen. The exact same feeling overcame me now as it did then. Despair.

**_Understand me now? _**

I didn't hear him. The only think about was this.

My Atlanta was gone. The Atlanta that trusted me, believed in me, refused to let him win. She was gone. And she wasn't coming back.

Ever.


	31. Sanguine

**Finally got a copy of Catching Fire! Listened to songs from District 12 and beyond whilst writing this.**

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><p>There's this ugly cut on my shoulder that maybe turning septic, might be a few fractures somewhere in my hand, a deep scratch across my cheek, a dark purple bruise on my arm, another blue one on my thigh, blood from some unknown source on my right ankle plus other multiple other scratches and bruises and that's not mentioning the scars left over from the other times that constantly threaten to rupture. Yeah, this plan certainly has it's down sides. If only there were blank outs where I don't see her, then maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I know I said this wasn't that bad but that was before I decided I needed to get over her. Maybe this is why it's my punishment: to make me miss her and see what we could have been, what I could have been, what we'll never be.<p>

I sat on the ground leaning back against this dead tree scrubbing at my ankle trying to get rid of the dried blood. I really need some sort of liquid but that's impossible here. I've rubbed it so hard now I can't tell what's coated in blood or what is clear from it. I've taken my sneaker and sock off but I still can't find where all this blood is coming from. All I've been able to find is so fluff stuck to foot and between my toes. They also smell quite a bit. That might be because they've been stuck in my shoes for over a year in the time of the world above. It's amazing that it's only now they've started to smell.

Anyway, I still haven't found the source and there is still more coming. It's starting to get on my nerves now, all this constant flow of blood and no obvious source to it.

I ran my hand on the underside of my foot and looked at it. A bright red smear from tip to wrist. Fresh. I wiped my hand on my jeans and looked at the underside of my foot. I still had to smear a bloody ridiculous amount of blood away before I actually got to the skin and even then I had to constantly dab at it to keep it clean. Three inch slash with many other smaller ones surrounding it. So that's where it's all coming from.

I thought about it. There isn't much I can. I have no medical supplies and very little knowledge on the subject anyway. I can't not use it, it's been bleeding since I remembered how we met, so I can't wait for it to stop. Using the foot will only make it work but I still need to move. Limping is slow and hopping is stupid and even slower. I'm just thinking how Atlanta coped after she twisted her ankle when she left. I think she put a splint on it and tried to use it as little as possible until she was sure it had healed enough or something like that. I really wish she was here right now. She'd know what to do. She knows a load of stuff about medicine and was the medic when we, Thalia, Annabeth and even Grover were on the run. You could trust her with your potentially life threatening injuries. She was that sort of person. She couldn't help but trust you and you couldn't help but trust her, probably not now though.

'_Tourniquet. You need a tourniquet for that.' _I could hear her voice in my head telling me what to do. Actually it was from when Thalia stood on this broken glass bottle just outside Manhattan. _'You really do need some ambrosia but not until all the glass is out. Until then I need to stop the bleeding.' _I reached inside my bag and took out part of my shredded shirt. I remember watching her do the same all those years ago. _'Can't do this too tight though.' _I asked her later what she meant and she said that if it was too tight then it can make the leg die and need amputation. I made sure not to put it too tight, not down here.

I sat back and waited for the pain and blood to subside. At least I don't need someone digging pieces of glass out from my foot with a knife though. Thalia did and Gods did she hate it. We drew straws. Atlanta lost. I'm not actually sure what the difference was between winning and losing since the loser got to remove glass from Thalia's foot but the winner almost got their hand broken by her. _'Sorry Thals but this is going to hurt.' _Yeah, Thalia did almost break my hand and she kicked Atlanta in the face when she trying to get a piece out. By the time the time Atlanta had done, she was starting to develop a black eye and I'd lost all feeling in my hand. _'Thanks for that Thals, thanks a lot...'_

I wiggled my toes. Pretty sure they're not meant to go numb. At least the blood flow's slowed. I released the tourniquet slightly and bond the wound again. I rubbed my hands together and shook them off blood. They still looked bright red even now. Hopefully the colour will fade with time. Not that's it's a big deal since I don't care what I look like now no one can see me, unless Atlanta doesn't listen to me not that's likely.

I leant my head back against the tree. I don't know what to do. I'm not a medic; do I even have a human anatomy now being dead and all? If I was still alive that possibly septic shoulder and this wound could have killed me but I'm not. I'll just be in unbelievable pain. Maybe that's why they let the blank outs have healing powers so I have no choice but see how I failed her and took away the life both of us could have had. I took that away from us, her; any chance of anything like that I took away from her.

I'm not meant to be thinking about her. That's why I'm in this way because I can't think about her. Well, I could but I'm doing this for her so I know that she can do anything. I could stop at anytime and stay in depression for the rest eternity. Together we could save each other but apart we're dead inside. There's nothing left in me. It's like she said _'my life was yours and you took that away from me.' _She had part of me and that part still resides with her. I can't get it back no matter what I do. She will forever be the holder of it. I can't stop her throwing it away if she ever recovers and if she does it I'll never get it back. It would be a piece that can never be replaced. It has holes, tears and scratches in it from previous uses but that time I gave it to her I knew it would be that last time that I'd give it away. That's why I can't get it back. I gave it away knowing that I'll never get it back. I had part of her. Her's didn't have the tears or scratches but most of it was black and dead. She knew everything I knew about it, I knew about why they were like that. We rarely talked about it, she didn't to anyone. I still hold it and that's what she meant by _'my life was yours.' _ It's the most valuable piece of them anyone can give to another. We gave it to each one night, one night I'll never forget. One night we sealed it.

The part of me I gave her was my heart.

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><p><strong>Cheesy I know.<strong>


	32. Dream World

**Finally got this written. Ever had the feeling where you know what you want to write but can't puut it to paper? This is this chapter.  
>Anyway, the way over due chapter 32<strong>

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><p>I finally decided to start moving again after all I could think about was her. When I'm moving, I don't think about her as much but other more important things like when I am next going to stop, what I am going to do at the attack and just other stuff. I think it's best to have a mixture of both not only because it stops them finding me but I have time to think about her but mostly it's surviving. It's a fair balance of them both. Unless I was seriously thinking about her before, like now.<p>

Like I've said before, we made a great team. We could do anything. Maybe if she hadn't been taken prisoner back at Mount Tam then maybe our side would have won, not that it would have been a good thing. I can see that now, I did get change though, I think. Neither Hermes nor Artemis ever told me and whenever I see the real Atlanta she's never at camp or has anything to do with the Gods so did I bring change? Did I change things for the unclaimed or has everything gone back to what it was before? Did I even make things worse for them? I'll probably never know.

_I reached out and brushed her hair off her shoulder, or at least tried to. She shrugged my hand away even before it came into contact with her. "Atlanta, I said I was sorry." She ignored me and carried on prepping the horses for racing. I think she has to be one of the only girls at camp that actually looks good in armour, not this is the time to tell her since she's all 'I'm not talking to you, you fucking bastard' and other stuff along that line. I'm guessing this is what people mean by going through a 'rough patch'. I looked at my watch. Five minutes until the deciding race. Five minutes to patch things up between us or at least get us back on to speaking terms. 'Sorry about this `lanta, but I can't think of anything else at the moment.' I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and went for it. It had to be one of the scariest things I'd done with her since we started dating about six months ago. _

_I grabbed her shoulders, turned her round to face me and closed any remaining space between us. I pressed those naturally red lips to mine and held her there despite her protests. I felt the pressure on my chest as she tried to push me away with her hands on my bronze chest plate. Her warm lips against mine and her hair tickling against my forehead. _

_Eventually I had to let her go. She stumbled backwards holding on to the chariot for support. Cold murderous fire burned behind her astonishingly green eyes that formed part of the scowl etched across her freckled face. Add the fire red hair, Greek body armour, and weapons and you've got yourself the perfect pissed off and ready for battle girlfriend. Unfortunately for me it looks like she's going to take it all out on me rather than the competition. "Atlanta, I can explain-"_

"_Gods damn it Luke! What the Hades did you think you were doing?" There was the fire burning stronger than ever, not only in her eyes but also in her voice._

"_At least you're actually talking to me now." I scoffed and turned away from her. I picked my sword off the shelf and threw her quiver and bow at her. I could hear her caught them behind her. I gave in to her burning scowl she was aiming at my back. "Look, Atlanta, I don't want to fight with you. You're my girlfriend and I don't want to lose you because of some stupid, little thing I did three weeks ago-"_

"_You're saying that reading my diary is a 'stupid, little thing' and I'm over-reacting!" She's pretty pissed right now._

"_What? No! I was bored and I didn't know what I was doing. It was pointless and stupid. I knew you better when I hadn't read it and I really regret it, okay?" She didn't say anything. I glanced at my watch again. Less than one minute. I sighed. I'm going to regret this, she's probably going to let people attack me and make us lose. She doesn't care about winning; she was forced to do this by my cabin because no one wanted to do this. If we win she won't get the prize, it'll be shared between the cabins and I'll probably take all of it before she could chose what she wanted for her share. "Come on then, let's get this shit over with." I walked past her, deliberately avoiding her eye. _

"_Luke..." I looked down at her from where I was standing._

"_What? We really need to get going now." There wasn't any frost to my voice. I wasn't annoyed. This was Atlanta; you can't be annoyed with her. _

_She stayed quiet for a while longer before deciding on what she was going to say. "This is only a temporary truce." She smiled weakly at me and I took her hand to pull her next to me._

I'm not sure when I started limping. A way back or just now? I honestly didn't notice until I was lying face down in the dirt for some unknown reason. It took a while before I thought about why I was down here. Maybe I subconsciously decided I preferred it down here with dust in my eyes, mouth and up my nose. Yeah that _has _to be the reason.

I turned over and looked at my foot. I must be tired, I'm not thinking about anything properly. Not noticing that I've been inhaling dirt for the last five minutes and then thinking I can diagnose what the problem is with my foot whilst still wearing my sneaker. What do I think I have? X-Ray vision? I need sleep (or in my position, a blank out; not that I can have one).

I pulled my sneaker off with half closed eyes trying not to fall in to the other world. It's like standing on the edge of a sheet of glass. It hurts and cuts your feet as you stand on the edge of two worlds: this world and the dream world. This is the side where there is no light and everything is silent. The other side, the dream world, is a mass of swirling colours and loud noises: laughter, shouts, screams of pleasure. Complete opposites; complete mirror images. I can only stay in the bright one for a short time before I have to return to the darkness. The border is glass, I can always see the other side no matter how deep I am in the opposite side. I'm caught between the two worlds at the moment; deciding which way to fall. I know that no matter how hard I struggle, I'm always going to fall to the dream world.


	33. Buddy Boy

**This is the space where I come up with some crappy excuse for a late update...no, can't think of anything. Oh well. Here's the long awaited chapter 33.**

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><p>To say things in a short way, I fell. I fell from the glass and in to the mass of swirling lights and noise. It's so light and loud that it hurts. It's the place where you wait before the blank outs. Three worlds down there: Tartarus, the main world with the monsters and threats; the two waiting zones, one of the dreams (where I am now) and one for the 'resurrections'. So there's Tartarus, two holding worlds, the living world and the dream world; five different worlds and I live in all of them.<p>

Talk about leading double lives.

Anyway I had fallen to the light and had another blank out. It wasn't bad and it wasn't good; another day in the life that I could have had. We just talked, that was it. Just talked...and got drunk. Well...not really drunk but had too much to drink. You just can't say no to Atlanta when she's got the drink out (where the Hades she got it from two days after my return I do not know)...and she's cute when she's drunk. She says all this stupid stuff; half of it doesn't make sense and the other half is so full of giggles and hiccups that you can't make out what the Hades she's saying. It's really funny.

Not so great a few hours later when you're holding her hair back as she chucks her guts up for a solid hour. The morning after isn't that great either, especially if you were drunk as well. Neither of you can remember anything and both smell of the bars. Vomit, alcohol and...Err...some other stuff...

From what I can remember, that's its fun at the time but not later.

Well, at least I don't have to worry about all the injuries I had collected since the last one. Thanks to the unplanned and forced blank out, they've all healed, to a certain extent at least. I can walk now without falling flat on my face every other step or feeling like I'm going to scream out in pain loud enough that people in the living world would probably hear me.

Guess that's a plus.

But that was a long time ago. I'm not know sure how long it has been but it was a long time ago. Nothing's really changed for me. I'm still here, fighting for my 'life' against a limitless amount of monsters _that do not die_ and trying to not have any more of them. I'm bored now. Was a long time ago. Run out of things to think about now...just going over the same old subjects now.

I'm virtually given up on my attempts to forget about her. It's not going to work. I'm just going to have to get used to not having her as my girlfriend anymore. That doesn't mean I'm going to accept the blank outs now. I hate them. I see her, yes. I feel drunk after and before and that ain't too great. That's the main reason I don't want them.

I'll probably plan it out so that I can still have them so the cuts can heal but not have them every single time I get hit.

_Luke._

I could hear her voice in my ear. I was leaning back against a wall in some 'foreign' city and I could feel her leaning up against my chest.

I didn't know whether to smile and keep still or to cringe and keep walking. I kept still. You just couldn't resist her.

"Atlanta."

_You okay?_

"Yeah, just fine." Liar.

_That's okay then._

"What about you?"

_Yeah, just fine. _Liar. `Least I ain't the only one.

Neither of us said anything. I was beginning to think that she'd gone but I could still feel her against me so I knew she was still there.

_You still got it?_

"Got what?"

_You know...the thing..._ So this isn't new. It's a conversation from my memories. What should I say? This isn't real, it's in the past, I don't have it anymore. Should I tell her that or should I just say what I did before?

"Erm..."

_You don't do you. _This is still a memory but I'm controlling it. That's pretty cool.

"`Cause I do." Let's twist the truth shall we. "Not giving it back just yet."

_Is he still there...still keeping you awake?_

"Yeah. Getting used to it."

_**You sure about that buddy boy, sure I've let you go.**_

Oh Gods no. Please, Gods no. No, just no.

_**More like oh yes. Not leaving you alone just yet, eh buddy boy?**_

I scrambled to my feet. I prepared to run. I didn't know why. I can't run away. It's in my head. He's always going to be with me, he's never going to let me go.

_**You can't get away from me that easily.**_

I caught my reflection in a shard of glass. Slightly bedraggled and otherwise normal but...the eyes...they were gold.

_**Hello again Luke.**_


	34. Hero

**Again, insert pathetic excuse for late update.  
>I've found that this story is less than fifty views away from reaching 3,000. I can not thank you enough.<br>Anyway, ingore my ramblings here is the late chapter. Not that pleased with the ending but anyway...**

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><p>I rolled sideways and sliced up diagonally. The creature above hissed in pain, foaming at the mouth. I think it might have rabies...if it can get rabies.<p>

Blackened and yellowed teeth came down towards my face and I brought my sword across to slice it across it's mattered muzzle. It hissed again and howled.

I was struggling to move. There was this _thing_, I'm not actually sure what this is. Hell-hound-hybrid? It's ugly anyway. I was struggling to move because it was standing over me. Would be helpful to have a partner here but I'm fine. I can get through this. Have before, haven't I? Now just to get this _thing _off of me...

**_Kill it. Rip it to pieces. Show it no mercy-!_**

"Shut up!" I kicked up and caught it off guard. It whimpered and flew backwards, skidding across the cracked tarmac street into the abandoned stores opposite. I scrambled to my feet and readjusted my grip on the handle.

**_That's it! You've got it right where you want it-_**

"What did I say? Shut UP!" With the last word, there was an answering growl and crash as the _thing _jumped through a window, scattering glass across the abandoned sidewalk. Gods, doesn't it look angry? Actually, don't answer that.

**_That's it buddy boy, use it's anger against it. All it will take is one well placed-_**

I'd had enough. The _thing _leapt from the shattered glass covered sidewalk, claws outstretched and teeth bared, headed straight for me. In the spilt seconds that followed, I twirled my blade twice around my hand, readjusted the grip on my sword and stiffened the hold. It's now or never. I pulled my arm back and threw the weapon at it. If it missed, so be it; I'd get to see her. If it was on target, I get rid of this thing. I don't really care anymore.

**_-stab._**

Right between the eyes.

Glass crunched under my feet as I approached the body. I prodded it with the toe of my sneaker. Why hasn't it exploded? It should be dust by now.

**_Good to see you haven't lost that touch._**

"Shut up," I growled. A deathly and sticky substance oozed from the crack in the creatures skull, spilling out across the tarmac, running along the abandoned street and down through the metal grates into the sewers. I bent down and grasped the hilt, my hand brushing through the dark, mattered fur. I grimaced as I yanked the blade from its head.

**_Thought you'd be used to a bit of blood buddy boy._**

"Don't remind me." The same liquid was smeared all the way to the hilt. Chunks of grey 'stuff' decorated the scarlet smeared bronze. One quick move could just about clean it...but...why won't I do it?

**_Because you're like me Luke. You like blood; like the feel of it, the taste, the smell. You can't deny it Luke. You are just like me-_**

"You're wrong." I flicked the sword out to the side, sending clots of grey and sanguine out across to land with sickening splats on the concrete beneath my feet. "I'm nothing like you." I sheathed my sword and rested my gaze on my reflection in the broken shards of glass. Still golden eyes stared back. Blink. Flash blue. Flash gold. "I will never be like you."

**_No no my friend, I think you will find that you yourself are wrong. We were, and still are, one the same. This just proves that. _**

I sighed. He's right in a way. I can't change the fact that I let him take me over. That was only possible because we shared the same visions, acted as one, thought as one. _Fuck. _We are the same.

**_I knew you would come round to my way of thing sooner or later. You always seemed to. You and that red headed bitch-_**

"Don't you dare talk about her like that! She's- she's not like that! She's-"

**_What? 'The woman you love?' _** The taunting and sarcastic tone. Oh how I hate him.

"Yes." I admit it. "I- I love Atlanta."

**_Maybe I am wrong._**

"What?"

**_We aren't the same. You are weak Castellan. You always have been. Always will be. Held back by pathetic feelings and promises. It was your ultimate down fall. Had you cut yourself off, you could have brought change. We could have won!_**

"And again, you are wrong. I did bring change. Not the way I wanted but I still did. I didn't need your help." Okay, maybe I did a little. Okay, maybe a little more than a little; more like a lot.

**_Without me, you would never have had the power or the supplies to do. Admit it, without me you are nothing. _**

"No. Without my friends and my family, I am nothing. They got me here. They got me change." I didn't want to declare it but they did get me here. And I mean here as in the status they gave me, not in that I'm in Tartarus and that it seems like I'm never going to get out.

**_You're glad they got you dead? Trapped? Alone?_**

" No, I'm glad they turned me into a hero."

**_A hero? Ha! You are no hero. Heroes are strong, they get riches, they get status. Of what of that do you have? The status of a traitor!_**

"That's the one thing you will never understand. No matter how low you hold yourself, it's how others per see you. And it's those closest to you that give you that status because they will fight for you long after you've gone. And I know there are people out there still fighting for me. If they are still fighting for me, then I haven't lost. And as they continue, I live on. Heroes have legacies. I have a legacy-"

**_The legacy of a murder, a traitor and scapegoat. Nothing anyone does will change that. They chose your fate. You were just a little pawn in their plans. Nothing will change it. Heroes do not exist in worlds like that. _**

"Heroes don't exist in places that you promised."

**_Oh yeah? How come?_**

"`Cause nothing could exist in a world of chaos."


	35. Ever

**So sorry for the long update, there was no valid reason for it. This chapter connects to another I posted a few weeks ago that no one has seemed to read. **

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><p>"I heard that, erm-"<p>

"Trust me, I don't."

Snippets of casual conversation over the cry of the radio and tattoo needle drift over to me. Yeah, it's one of those things again. Chad's there this time, doing his job. Followed his dad in to the world of tattoo artist. He's done Atlanta twice, once on her back and once on the inside of her knee.

I was leaning up against the wall watching them. The continuous drone of the needle wafting through the background music and their small conversation.

**_You do know that you can influence this._**

_Yes and? _

**_Ever heard of a thing called chaos?_**

I rolled my eyes and pushed myself away from the wall. I walked over to where they were and looked at the design she'd handed over earlier. Black phoenix rising out of red flames.

"There are times where I hate him." Chad was the one who had spoken, which shocked me. "He virtually tried to kill us all."

"Yeah but so did I." She did a sort of one armed shrug.

"But that's not the same." _How? _I frowned. We were both in that.

"How?" It was Chad's turn to shrug.

"How are you holding up?" She turns to him. "Getting over it yet?" She scowled at the floor.

"I don't think I will ever get over it." Chad looked like he's going to say something but Atlanta powers on. "He ripped my heart out and it won't ever heal properly. And for that I will always hate him." Whoa, did not expect that.

**_Knew it all along._**

_Shut up._

He pulled away from her arm, gently wiping away any blood drawn. "That's new."

Her head snapped to glare at him. "What would you feel if it was Sarah?" Awkward...

**_Snippy._**

_Shut up._

Sarah's a girl from the Aphrodite a couple of years younger than the three of us. Blonde with these funny coloured eyes, a strange blue shade that's caught between lavender and light blue. She's really nice but not my kinda girl.

Chad pushed his chair away from her and reached into his desk on the opposite side. In a small voice, barely audible, he said: "That's different."

Atlanta looked down at the floor, away from Chad. "I know. I shouldn't have brought it up."

He looked at her like nothing ever happened, that they didn't know each other before this meeting. He handed over a plastic pack and she took it from him, still not meeting his gaze. "You know what to do with this." She nodded and pushed herself out of the chair and followed him out of the room. She handed over her card and looked out the window. "Atlanta?"

"Hm..." She looked back at him, the awkwardness past.

"Find someone, okay? It's not good for you to be on your own." She downcast her eyes and returned her card to her purse.

"Yeah, just...yeah." She looked over her shoulder and I follow her eye line. A brown haired guy was waiting for her outside, looking back at her. Atlanta smiled back at him. I keep telling her to move one but I never thought she actually would...

**_Tut tut tut buddy boy. Make up your mind._**

_I'm not saying it again._

I closed my eyes for a moment and the next time they opened, it was dark and I'd moved. It was dark and I could just see her back. She was facing the mirror but I couldn't see her face. I couldn't tell if she'd been crying or not.

She looked up and our eyes met through the mirror. She scowled and I wasn't sure if it was at herself or at me. Her poison thoughts were almost readable from her look. _Maybe we had something once. But not anymore. _

I don't know what I was thinking, I was moving on auto-drive.

"Atlanta..."

She shuddered and looked away.

"I need you Hunter."

**_What are you doing?!_**

I wasn't sure, but now she was crying.

I didn't say anything but she looked up and glared.

"Leave me alone."

**_Listen to her!_**

"Help me." He's right. I'm weak. I need help. I need her to help me.

Her eyes narrowed and they clouded over. I knew she wasn't thinking straight, but maybe this was what she always thought.

"Leave. Me. Alone!"

She drove her fist into the mirror and it shattered. The image broke and the darkness returned. This bled through to the street where I started it all. The shadows had moved and the howls crawled closer but I couldn't have thought of it at that point.

**_Now do you see? You're weak Castellan, always have._**

Subconsciously, I nodded. I thought back to when I was sixteen. The exact same feeling overcame me now as it did then. Despair.

**_Understand me now? _**

I didn't hear him. The only think about was this.

My Atlanta was gone. The Atlanta that trusted me, believed in me, refused to let him win. She was gone. And she wasn't coming back.

Ever.


	36. Starlight

The faint, light-hearted music floats through the still night air in a wave that comes and go in the darkness that surrounds me. The night is vaguely lit with the bright, round disk that is suspended in the nightfall I'm sitting in.

I won't admit that I'm cold, but in truth, I am. But what did I expect from Canada as it slowly starts its descent in winter? Already a few delicate flakes have fallen from the sky but it hasn't been anything too substantial; not enough to force me inside, which I'm grateful for. Not that I don't want to see her…it's just that I can't stop thinking about how she reacted to me in real life. It just makes this all seem so fake and just seeing her isn't enough anymore because I know it's fake. I guess I always knew that but seeing the comparison between the two would really bring it home.

So that's why I'm sitting on the doorstep to Atlanta's dad's house, trying to avoid whatever's going on inside. From what I've gathered, I think it's like some sort of family reunion. I'm engaged and I've got two kids who are going to start screaming any minute now. I should be so happy right now but I'm not. I'm hollow and empty, praises and congratulations ringing heavy in my ears. I was in there for about two minutes before I told her I was going outside for some air.

That was half an hour ago.

I fiddle with cigarette stick in my right hand, staring at the dull glow that the ashes give out. There was a guy out here earlier, something's telling me that it may have been one of her cousins, but he was smoking and I just felt the sudden need.

I hate the damn things.

Still I take another drag.

Footsteps start quiet behind me before increasing in volume until they stop beside me. Slowly, she drops to her knees and takes up residence at my side. She starts looking at me with those damn green eyes.

I can't bring myself to meet them.

"I thought you gave those up."

I look to the cigarette in my hand and give a sigh as I extinguish it and throw it sideways. "I did."

"Then why?"

Oh Atlanta, my sweet gorgeous Atlanta, you always thought about others before yourself but you're not her are you? Just some inaccurate copy programmed to love me even when she hates me.

I run a hand through my ragged hair and sigh again. "Stressed." That's one way to put it.

She gives me a weak smile and a tentative touch to my bicep. "You do know you can talk to me about anything. If you're having second thoughts-"

"No. I could never have second thoughts about you."

"You can still talk to me though."

"I know." I look up for the first time and meet her gaze. The same green eyes that last stared at me in hatred now look at me in amazement and awe. "I know."

"Then what?"

It took a few minutes before I could come up with an answer that I could say without telling her what was really bugging me. The music behind us still floated and danced in the air but it was long since forgotten between the two of us.

"I'm just thinking really. Thinking how we've changed and ended up here. Cause honestly," I gave her funny look, "this isn't what I planned."

There was that silence again as this time she tried to figure out what to say.

"I think I know what you're getting at." No, really you don't. "This isn't what I had in mind either. I wanted a job and a place that we owned and be at least in our late twenties before having kids, but it's okay. It's early but it's okay." I wish that's what I thought.

"Is that what you thought when you were…"

"Eighteen. Yeah."

"You know what I wanted?"

"What?"

"You. You and the fact I was going to make it to the next sunrise."

"You never did plan things out far."

"Apart from trying to tear down Olympus."

"Yeah…I have the skills, but I just can't be arsed to use them."

"Luke, give me a dollar."

"What? Why?"

"Swear jar." I sighed for a third time before handing it over. "What? I don't want them picking up any bad habits."

I give a small laugh before settling back in to silence. After a while, she shuffled closer and laid her head on my shoulder.

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"You do know I love you right?"

No, you don't you never have. You're not her and you never will be but…yes, yes I do.

"Cause I do, what makes you think I didn't."

She frowns and lifts her head before answering. "I don't know but I keep getting these…these ideas that you don't and then I get really scared because I think…I think I don't love you anymore which I know is wrong because you're great and-"

I place a finger to her lips. I can't listen to her go on about that. I just can't.

"Atlanta!" She turns her head back to the voice.

"Yeah!" She starts to stand and hovers in the doorway.

"I can't seem to get your kids to sleep, do you think you could try. I'm sure Leigh going to start screaming in a minute."

Right on cue the screaming starts.

"I'll just be a minute!" She crouches down and casually runs a hand through my hair. "Come inside soon will you? I miss you."

"Yeah of course." Maybe.

She places a kiss to my forehead before heading inside. It's just then that the blinding flash of light stripes across the starlight. A shooting star. A wish.

I close my eyes. "I wish I could go back and start over."


	37. Last Time

**Okay, sorry for the wait. My old laptop's power circuits got fried and my new one doesn't support the old file's system so I can't open it which really sucks because I've been working on this for ages.**

**TIP: Don't put your laptop on a blanket so it blocks the ventilation. Just don't.**

**So last chapter. Thanks for sticking with it, especially those who faved and followed and reviewed.**

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><p>"<em>I wish I could go back and start over."<em>

What the hades was I thinking! It's…it's pathetic. Clinging on to the past; live for the future is a good motto, too bad I haven't got one.

_**Now you're coming round to my thinking. You're pathetic Castellan, always have, always will be.**_

_I don't believe you._

_**Liar.**_

Yeah, I'm a liar; a liar, a thief and a down right bastard. Maybe I'm gonna start living up to what everyone really thinks of me. My legacy: everything that's bad and no one thinks anything good. My mom might but I don't really know if she knows that I'm dead for…what? A year? Two? Five? Ten? I don't know. I don't want to know.

Forcing myself to keep going, I tried to block the thoughts from entering my mind but down here there isn't much else to think about. Where am I going? I don't know. It's just another thing I don't know.

_Step. Thunk. Step. Thunk. Step. Thunk._

Hang on…what's that? Is that-? No, it can't be…

_**I think you better believe it.**_

Empousa.

I've been lucky so far. If by lucky you count only running into hellhounds, a Laistrygonian giant, this guy being jammed back into my head and blacking out at the most inconvenient times then I have been pretty lucky.

_**I'm slightly offended by that.**_

_You should be used to it._

Now, I've never had that great experiences with empousai; either they tried to kill me or hit on me. Neither is really a great option with them being creatures that live off men's blood.

I have met a few empousai in my time but mainly interacted with their leader Kelli. And when you interact with empousai, remember never ever trust them. First opportunity BANG! They'll drain you dry, backstabbing bitches.

_**Just like someone else we know.**_

_I'm just going to ignore that._

_**You know it's true. **_

I slipped inside a doorway, using the shadows to my advantage as the empousa approached with that characteristic step and thunk. Pressed up against the wall, ears strained and sword drawn, waiting for it to slip past so I could step behind and slit its throat. It could never be a fool proof plan but, on short notice, it's the best that I could do.

Which is no surprise that it went wrong.

It was going just fine until it was directly in front of the doorway. It turned sharply on its heel and stared right into the shadows.

Oh, damn.

Kelli.

She looked exactly the same as when I last saw her: fire for hair, red eyes, one donkey leg, one bronze leg and still looking surprisingly slutty. Some things never change.

"Luke. How lovely it is to see you again."

_**Don't look into her eyes!**_

_Well, duh. The whole _don't-have-enough-willpower-and-get-drained-by-the -evil-crazy-blood-sucking-bitch. _Done it before, do it again._

I narrowed my eyes and lifted my sword, preparing to strike. "I'd love to say that the feeling is mutual."

It happened in an instant. One moment I was swinging my sword ready to cut into her neck; the next my back was pressed up against the wall, the blade on my neck.

"Tut tut Luke. Is that how you greet all long lost friends?"

"You were never my friend." I growled.

"But I always thought we would be better as something more." Kelli pressed the blade down harder. A drop of blood trickled down the blade.

I didn't have any options. It was be drained or an eternal stalemate. Neither of them I preferred.

Gritted teeth, I growled. "Do it."

_**What?! No!**_

"Do what sweetie?"

"You know what." _CRACK! _I had to blink to fight the black spots that entered my vision. The feeling of pinprick like teeth pressed against my jugular caused goose bumps to break out across my skin. I wasn't scared, I really wasn't. But I was.

_**Weak.**_

_Irritating._

_**Pathetic.**_

_Shut up._

"You really sure honey?" Reluctantly, I nodded, well tried. "I am so going to enjoy this." I grimaced as she dragged her nails across my cheek. "Oh, Luke. So pretty, so handsome, so strong. It's a shame to drain someone as perfect as you."

_**You better know what you're doing.**_

_I hope so too._

_**Why did I put you in charge of my army and resurrection?**_

_I don't know. It was your choice._

"Actually, maybe I should change my mind. Maybe I should just keep you. My own personal pet until I get reborn and waiting for all eternity. For me. My pretty little toy."

"You tried that once. Remember? It didn't work then and it won't work now." CRACK!

"You're not in charge here anymore. I am. And if you don't start showing some respect then I'll have to teach you some." She scrunched her face up and tightened her grip. "That's such a shame you know. I would have loved to keep you to myself but I'm being told to leave you alone. Oh well, at least they didn't say anything about not draining you. I'll just have to leave your body here for the hellhounds to come and get it."

To say the pain was intense is a major understatement. And to say the darkness was a blessing is another.

I welcomed the darkness and closed my eyes.

This is my life after death.

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><p><strong>Thank you for taking time to read this. I really appreciate it.<strong>


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